The Cursed Critic: NeeNee V's Reviews

01/28/2026

The Cursed Critic's Verdict

Beauty Product Review

💀💀💀/5

L'OREAL HYALURON TINT LIP STAIN SERUM:

A Bloody Mixed Bag 🩸

In the color Le Rouge Paris, this lip stain is to DIE for... literally, the color is THAT good 💄. Staining power? Impeccable. Application? Easy peasy with that great applicator 👌. But, plot twist: it's haunted my lips 🤯.

Burning sensation after application? Check 🔥. Lips drier than the crypt? Double check 🕷️. I've tried it 4 times, and each time, it's like my lips are screaming, "NeeNee, why you gotta hurt us like this?" 🗣️
Winnipeg winter is no joke, but this product's dryness is on another level 💀. If you have sensitive lips, proceed with caution (or a lip balm army) 🛡️.

Verdict: 3 skulls outta 5 🕷️. Le Rouge Paris is a stunner, but my lips are still traumatized 😂. If you crave the perfect stain and can handle the spooky side effects, give it a shot! 💉

The Cursed Critic's tip: pair it with a hydrating lip serum, or risk becoming a zombie

.canada

09/05/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict:
Movie Review!!!

☠️.5 / 5
Cobweb

Synopsis
“Cobweb is a 2023 horror film about an eight-year-old boy, Peter, who hears tapping from his bedroom wall and is told it's his imagination by his restrictive parents. As the tapping continues and a mysterious voice emerges, Peter discovers the sound comes from his older sister, Sarah, a monstrous being trapped by their parents for years. His parents are revealed to be evil, having killed a trick-or-treater on Halloween and buried her, with Sarah seeking revenge against the family who imprisoned her.”

As a lover of Horror movies, I was disappointed with this movie.
A tangled mess of a horror movie!

I was expecting a killer thrill ride, but this 2023 film fell flat. The storyline had potential, but the twist at the end was a bloody mess - it didn't fit, and the "villain" felt like a cheap prop.

The acting was mediocre, with Anthony Starr as the evil dad being the most convincing. Lizzie Caplan's awkwardness was, well, awkward. Woody Norman as Peter was the standout, bringing some genuine terror to his performance.

The cinematography and setting were ominous, but the scares were lackluster. Nothing made me jump, nothing made me scream. It was a snooze-fest of a horror movie.

Overall, I'd give Cobweb 1.5 Skulls out of 5. 👻 It was a disappointing mess that failed to deliver on its promises. If you're a horror fan, you might find yourself yawning at the predictability and lack of creativity.

Cobweb

08/29/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict
Beauty Product Review!!!

💀💀💀💀💀/5

e.l.f. cosmetics Incredi-Curl Mascara in Soft Black

Ah, the creatures of the night demand drama, and that's where e.l.f. cosmetics Incredi-Curl Mascara in Soft Black comes in! I've been wielding this wicked wand for 2 weeks now, and it's become a staple in my daily morning ritual to awaken the undead...I mean, get ready for work.

This mascara is like a spell that casts a spell of allure on my lashes - it's lightweight, applies like a breeze, and gives my peepers a spooky-good punch. I don't typically conjure up a full face of makeup for work, but this mascara is a must-have to make my eyes pop out...of the darkness, that is.

The wearability is to die for (pun intended)! It lasted all day, even when I was caught in a torrential downpour of doom - and I'm not talking about the apocalypse, just a regular ol' rainstorm. It didn't run, smudge, or turn me into a raccoon-eyed monster. Impressive, right?

Overall, this mascara is a graveyard smash! I highly recommend it to anyone looking for an affordable, long-lasting, and bewitching mascara. I'll be buying this in the future, and I'm sure my lashes will thank me...or haunt me if I don't.

08/25/2025

Creepy Crew, assemble!

Muahahaha, the time has come to cast your ghoulish votes! Click the link and unleash your cursed power!!

Don't be a ghost, vote once every 24 hours and haunt the competition with your presence!

Set those reminders or rely on my spooky posts to guide you... Let's conjure up a win and make the competition scream!!

Help The Cursed Critic become The Face of Halloween!!!

I Eat, Breathe, Sleep, Dress, Watch Everything Halloween&Horror. Every Year I Create A Haunt For Halloween. I'm A HORROR/HALLOWEEN JU**IE!!

08/15/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict:
Food Review

💀💀💀💀/5

Butterball's Applewood Smoked Turkey Bacon and Turkey Franks

Butterball's Applewood Smoked Turkey Bacon and Turkey Franks are a bloody good time! I was thrilled to sink my teeth into these tasty treats, and I'm not mad at it.

The Turkey Bacon was a real showstopper - crispy, smoked to perfection, and just the right amount of flavor. It's a killer alternative to regular bacon (pun intended). I cooked it in the oven, and it came out awesome. The smoked flavor was hauntingly good!

The Turkey Franks, on the other hand, needed a little more...graveyard dirt. Cooking them in the oven made them a bit soggy, but they still tasted great. I think a BBQ would be the perfect way to resurrect them! When I paired the frank with a slice of that delicious bacon, it was a match made in monster heaven!

Overall, both products were a delight, and I'd definitely purchase them again. They're a tasty way to sink your teeth into a healthier alternative.

Product gifted by Butterball Canada, but the Cursed Critic's stamp of approval is all mine! 4 Skulls out of 5.

08/05/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict:
Movie Review

☠️☠️☠️☠️ / 5

HEART EYES - A RomCom Killer

Synopsis: A masked maniac with glowing red peepers is back to slice and dice lovebirds on Valentine's Day. Can a cynical ad exec and her romantic colleague survive the carnage?I dove into this horror-rom-com blindfolded, and boy, was it a wild ride!

The story was a bloody good time (pun intended), but I felt like it was over too soon. I craved more backstory on the killer - just a few more sentences would've made my dark heart sing. The leads, Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding, had sizzling chemistry that made their characters' romance believable. The supporting cast, including Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa, brought the campy humor that added to the movie's charm.

The cinematography was spellbinding, capturing the perfect ambiance for each scene - whether it was a romantic smooch or a gruesome gore-fest. And, oh, the kills! They were creative, over-the-top, and totally rocked. If I were rating just the kills, this movie would be a 5-skull fest.

My only bones to pick (hehe) were the lack of killer backstory and the pacing, which felt a tad too fast. Still, this movie had a little bit of everything: romance, horror, humor, and plenty of blood. I'd give it 4 skulls out of 5. If you're a fan of horror-rom-coms, add this to your watchlist. Trust the Cursed Critic - it's a must-see! 😉

07/30/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict
Beauty Product Review!!!

💀💀💀💀💀/5

Estée Lauder Revitalizing Supreme+ Youth Power Creme SPF 25 Moisturizer
Another Product test!!

Welcome, ghouls and goblins, to The Cursed Critic's review of the Estée Lauder Revitalizing Supreme+ Youth Power Creme SPF 25 Moisturizer! I've been cursed...I mean, blessed with using this creamy concoction for 3.5 weeks, and I'm dying to share my undead thoughts.

This moisturizer has been a real treat for my parched skin, leaving it feeling like it's risen from the dead - hydrated, plump, and radiant. The SPF 25 is like a shield against the harsh UV rays that threaten to turn me into a withered co**se. And let's be real, who doesn't love a good excuse to avoid applying separate sunscreen?

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Does it feel like a greasy coffin nail?" And to that, I say...initially, yes. But fear not, my friends, for it absorbs like a ghostly whisper, leaving no residue behind.

The ingredients are like a witch's brew of awesomeness - hyaluronic acid, moringa extract, and peptides are the perfect potion for locking in moisture and fighting off fine lines and wrinkles. I'm excited to see how it continues to cast its spell on my skin over the next few months.

Of course, every skin type is different, so your mileage may vary. But for this critic, it's a thumbs up...or should I say, a bony finger up?
Some key benefits of this product include:
Hydration: 72-hour hydration and a strengthened moisture barrier - perfect for skin that's been drained by the undead lifestyle
Anti-aging: Helps reduce fine lines, wrinkles, and loss of elasticity - because even monsters want to look their best
SPF Protection: Broad-spectrum protection against UVA/UVB rays - because sunburned skin is so last season

I received this product for free from Marketing, but don't worry, my review is still to die for.

07/24/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict:
Book Review

☠️☠️☠️☠️.5/5

Playground by Aron Beauregard

I've conjured up a review of Aron Beauregard's Playground, and it's a real scream-fest! As a horror ju**ie, I was eager to dive into this Splatterpunk novel, and boy, did it deliver. But be warned, dear readers, this book is not for the faint of heart.

The story follows three low-income families who are lured to Geraldine Borden's cliffside estate with a handsome retainer. Their kids are tasked with testing out the revolutionary playground equipment, but things quickly take a dark and sinister turn. The writing is phenomenal, and the story is twisted, disturbing, and full of blood, guts, and gore.

The characters are well-developed, but the kids are the true stars of the show. They must band together to survive the insidious architecture and the old lady's sinister plans. Rock, one of the characters, is a particular standout, and his journey is both captivating and unsettling.

Now, I must warn you, dear readers, there's a scene that will make you gag. It's a disturbing intimate scene in the villain's backstory that left me feeling dirty and gross. Trust me, you'll understand why I deducted .5 skulls when you read it. Should it have lost more? Maybe!?!?

Despite that scene, this book is a must-read for hardcore horror fans. It's a wild ride full of twists and turns, and the ending is both haunting and thought-provoking. So, if you're into Splatterpunk and aren't easily offended, then Playground is a book for you.

Shoutout to for introducing me to the Splatterpunk genre. I love the new world of horror they've opened for me, and I will definitely be visiting again soon.

07/23/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict:
Food Review

💀💀💀💀/5

Leopold's Tavern

I've conjured up a review of Leopold's Tavern, and it's a real treat! Our coven meeting was a howling success, thanks to their bewitching eats.

Appetizers of the Damned

We started with the Garlic Bread Bombs, and they're a bloody masterpiece! Cheesy, garlicky, and soft, these breaded knots would ward off any vampire. Next, we summoned the Mega Bucket of Bacon, and it was a tower of deliciousness. The maple syrup dip was a mystery, but the bacon was divine. It was like a sweet and savory séance – we were possessed by the flavor!

Main Events of the Macabre

My meal, the BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich, was a flavorful specter that haunted my taste buds. The slow-roasted pulled pork was tender, the honey BBQ sauce was sweet, and the kale slaw and crispy onions added a delightful crunch. The waffle fries were a bit meh, but the sandwich was a graveyard of deliciousness. My taller half's Braised Beef Dip was a tasty tomb, minus the horseradish mayo, which was a ghostly presence he'd rather not have. Our little monster's Chicken Fingers and Curly Fries were a delightful duo – crispy, juicy, and finger-licking good!

Desserts from the Crypt

The 2 Deep-Fried Cheesecakes were a sweet and sinful treat, but the portioning was as small as a ghost's whisper. Perhaps they were trying to ward off the sugar demons? Nonetheless, the fried cheesecake was a delightful indulgence, like a sweet and creamy séance.

The Cursed Critic's Verdict

Leopold's Tavern has some bewitching eats but lost a skull or two for minor mishaps. Overall, it's a haunted good time! The food was delicious, if you're looking for a dining experience that's to die for, look no further than Leopold's Tavern.
Cursed Critic Approved!!

07/18/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict
Pet Product Review

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

The HEMPZ PETZ 2-in-1 Shampoo & Conditioner has conjured up a spell of cleanliness and freshness for my 3 furry minions. As a devoted servant to these creatures of the night, I'm always on the lookout for potions that will keep them smelling like a bouquet of fresh flowers... or in this case, Sweet Pineapple & Honey Melon and Creamy Citrus Orange & Red Raspberry.

These products have been brewing in my cauldron of pet care for months, and I'm utterly enchanted! Not only are they free from the dark magic of THC, parabens, gluten, and cruelty, but they're also gentle and effective, like a soothing balm on a wounded beast.
The shampoo and conditioner are as easy to use as casting a spell, and the result is a coat that's as soft and shiny as a werewolf's fur under the full moon.

The scent lingers like the haunting melody of a ghostly serenade, leaving my fur babies smelling like a dream.

I'm a fan of HEMPZ products, and this one is no exception. It's a total win for my fur family, and I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking to conjure up a spell of cleanliness and freshness for their pets.

Why I love it:
-Gentle and effective, like a mother's touch
-Amazing scents that last, like the lingering aroma of a ghostly presence
-Soft and shiny coats, like the fur of a mythical creature
-Free from harsh chemicals, like a potion brewed with love and care
-Easy to use, like casting a spell

Would I recommend it? ABSOLUTELY! Try it out for your fur babies, and you won't regret it... unless you're allergic to happiness and cleanliness.

07/18/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict
Movie Review

🎥🎥🎥.5 / 5

"Clown in a Cornfield" is a horror movie that has risen from the depths of Manitoba's cornfields, bringing with it a twisted tale of terror.

As a fan of the macabre, I was drawn to this film like a moth to a flame, eager to see how it would utilize our province's eerie landscapes to craft a chilling atmosphere.

The story follows Quinn and her father as they move to the forsaken town of Kettle Springs, where a malevolent clown begins to stalk and slaughter the innocent.

While the premise is tantalizing, the narrative feels like a hastily scrawled curse, lacking the build-up and tension that would make it truly unforgettable.
The acting, too, is as wooden as the stakes that pierce the clown's victims.

However, the kill scenes are a different matter altogether. They're like gruesome rituals, creative and bloody, with the clown's victims screaming in agony like damned souls. If you're squeamish, you might want to avert your eyes, but for horror enthusiasts, these scenes are a ghastly delight.

Manitoba's cornfields provide a fitting backdrop for the film, like a twisted garden of horrors. The cinematography is clear and well-shot, capturing the eerie atmosphere of the cornfields and the clown's lair.

Rating Breakdown:
-Storyline: 2.5/5 (felt like a hastily scrawled curse)
-Acting: 2.5/5 (as wooden as the stakes that pierce the clown's victims)
-Kill scenes: 4.5/5 (gruesome and creative, like a twisted work of art)
-Cinematography: 4/5 (capturing the eerie atmosphere of the cornfields)

Recommendation: If you're a fan of horror and enjoy slasher films, you might find "Clown in a Cornfield" to be a twisted treat. But be warned, the film's flaws might leave you feeling like you've been stabbed in the back... or the cornfield.

07/18/2025

The Cursed Critic's Verdict
Movie Review

🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥 / 5

"Ballerina" is a blood-soaked ballet of brutality, a deadly dance of revenge that will leave you breathless.

As a fan of the John Wick franchise, I was eager to see how this spin-off would measure up, and I'm thrilled to report that it delivers on every level.

Ana de Armas shines like a freshly sharpened dagger as Eve Macarro, a young assassin trained in the deadly traditions of the Ruska Roma. Her performance is a masterclass in ruthless efficiency, and I was hooked from the start. Keanu Reeves makes a welcome appearance as the Boogeyman himself, John Wick, and the supporting cast is a veritable rogues' gallery of seasoned killers.

The storyline is a twisted tale of vengeance and bloodlust, with a fascinating backstory that adds depth to the world of the Ruska Roma.

The action scenes are a kinetic blur of punches, kicks, and creative kills that will leave you gasping for air.

The cinematography is stunning, capturing the dark and gritty tone of the film with ease.

Overall, "Ballerina" is a 5-star thrill ride that will leave you screaming for more.

If you're a fan of the John Wick franchise, you owe it to yourself to see this film. And if you're not a fan, well, you might just find yourself converted by the end of it.