20/05/2023
EFFECTIVE PARENTING
Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi: https://www.pexels.com/photo/blue-jeans-3036405/
There are things I wish I knew before becoming a parent. Most people like me get into parenthood only to discover it is more challenging than expected.
When I understood parenting as a noble call and started learning these secrets to effective parenting, what I considered a yoke, became a ride.
Here, I will share with you some tested strategies on how to attain effective parenting, irrespective of the circumstances surrounding your home.
WHAT IS EFFECTIVE PARENTING
Effective parenting is a result-oriented, model-engaging method of raising a child through the different stages of development to be an independent best version of themselves.
The deliberate and conscious method required to be effective in raising our kids demands that great results can not be achieved with haphazard and unsystematic procedures. This is not to say that every child must be raised in the same way; however, as much as we recognize the uniqueness of our individual uniqueness and family differences, some vital tools must be traceable in the parenting journey if we must end up proud of the job we did.
Defined as a model-engaging method, effective parenting emphasizes that we are dealing with human lives and not robots waiting for instructions. Children are more modeled by what they see and practise, than what they hear. Following this fact,, we must effectively and deliberately be the adult we want them top copy in actions.
It is no fault of ours that children grow and have their priorities reordered: From craving for free play time to having best looks in teens years. Effective parenting must be adaptable to these different stages of life and still remain consistent in her approach to ensure that the child turns out to be not what parents think children should become but what they were made to be; fully grown in all their potentials to impact positively on the society, whether we be present or not.
PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARENTING
Effective Parenting is built around certain cardinal objectives.
Trust: It is essential to see our parent-child relationship as one that needs to be built on mutual trust. Here in this context; the trust from a child to a parent. Studies have it hat every child is born with a longing to be helped. This connection for help is first desired in the child’s desire to be assisted by his/her mom to food, for sleep, etc. This need is strongest in the earliest developmental stages of 0-2years and continues in different variants as the child grows. It gets to a point that this dependence is more for counsel, role modeling, and even world view. Every parent must strive to fill in this role effectively
Time: Time is the value of life and a currency to purchase any and everything. We can invest this resource and purchase character in and for our children. Spending time with them whether to play or study means spending our lives with them. This would strengthen our relationships and create room for influence. The walk to effective parenting is not overnight. We must learn to make out time for our children as anytime missed can not be regained.
Communication: The relevance of an open communication system with our children can not be over-emphasized. Communication must be done at the child’s level, not at the parent’s level. We need to bond with our kids well enough that they can tell all things. We must be able to read in-between lines and interpret unspoken words and body language. Having an appropriate feedback would give us access their true self and help them shape their destiny.
Responsibilities: Everyone must have a role to which he/she is committed. Responsibility not only gives a sense of belonging, but helps to balance development. It is not advisable to let the child while a way his/her time. Committing tasks at par with age prepares children to expect responsibilities at adulthood. It gives room for critical analysis and teaches on problem solving skills.
Boundaries: Boundary setting is essential to put a child to check. Every child is born with an innate desire to be naughty. If left untamed, the results would be far from desired and detrimental to society. There should be a check on everything a child is permitted to do; from play to entertainment, etc.There is need to be diplomatic in setting boundaries and it should be done in such a way that the child does not see it as a limitation but can rather adapt it as a personal guide.
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MYTHS ABOUT EFFECTIVE PARENTING
It is the practice of raising a little version of you: This is fallacy as no two individuals are the same; not even a father and son in all their socio-psychological makeup. Striving to raise another you in your child is limiting the true potentials of another individual.
It is the process of becoming a perfect parent: it is not a cliche; No one is perfect and neither can you be. In becoming a parent, you will make mistakes and you will learn from them. This process will make you effective in parenting.
CHALLENGES TO EFFECTIVE PARENTING
Method disparity among spouses:
Both parents of the same child have been raised from different backgrounds. Some parentis are permissive, some authoritarian and some a mixture of both in their method of discipline. There must be an agreement of the parenting method to be deployed, and spouses can not be in process competition but complementary, if parenting must be effective on a child.
Peer Pressure:
Man is a social creature and as the child grows, there must be an interaction of value systems with members of another home. If the principles of his home are well internalized and accepted, then he/she will over rule the identity crises that comes with peer pressure.
CONCLUSION
Effective parenting is a deliberate and conscious effort to raise our children into the very best version of the themselves.
There are keys to achieving this intent successfully in our everyday parenting dairy.
The challenges to this goal is surmountable and it pays off when we work at it.
We would love to hear from you on where you have missed it out in the past or your experiences in putting these procedures in place to become a better parent.