09/05/2022
*Trigger warning: depression, anxiety, insomnia.*
"Chapter one: I went through a mental breakdown in 2019.
The thing is, I didn't just wake up in a dark hole. I watched my mind dig itself down there.
It started with my sleep.
It was a gradual thing. Night after night, week after week, my sleep deteriorated. I went from sleeping 4 hours a night - to bargaining with my brain for two.
During crisis mode, I'd go three nights in a row without sleep. Kia ora, insomnia.
My bed morphed into a mental battleground. Instead of resting, I'd wrestle. Instead of sleeping, I'd lie there fighting off the darkest of thoughts.
The lesson I learned. A sleep problem is often not a sleep problem. It's a night-time nudge. A signal that things in your day need attention.
In my case, my days were full of anxiety, social isolation, and no routine. And these problems only magnify in the silence of the night.
So, if your sleep starts to worsen, pay attention to your daytime stress. I wish I did.
Instead, everything became a struggle. I mean everything - even brushing my teeth.
Keep an eye out for chapter two. I'll explain there "
