05/04/2018
Live in the Moment. Eat Alone. Dine Alone.
Olufela Adeyemi celebrates the unexpected quirks in eating alone
In Africa, eating alone has become a synonym for refusing the share proceeds of corruption. When it is less savage, it is interpreted simply as being selfish. So what do introverts like us do to stay on track? IGNORE aka ignore. After a particularly busy week, I once drove 2 hours down to the peninsula, took a seat in the restaurant and sipped fresh coconut water flavored with lime, before I ate a two-course meal fit for a queen. I gisted with other people like I did in the Unilag Campus days, except these were new friends I only just met there. Ordinarily, on a day like this I would have been cooped up with some old friends. Then I realized we were all creating limitations to spreading our wings. When we went in different directions, we were generally more productive. (I am quite hung up on productivity)
Time was, DsTV was my best friend. If I checked into a 3star like this one, I would spend 80% of the time in front of the TV and order room service whenever I could. I thought the restaurant was an experience, meant only for special dishes in particular company. As my children grew up and I got busier, it became clear to me that his was a veritable life organizer. Therefore, if I found a restaurant with a pool, I was sorted for six or seven hours, because my boys and I would eat, they would go off and swim and I would work, browse or just lounge near the pool. Multitasking. I have since discovered that it is beneficial to venture out on your own. Moreover, that this self-love is a fruitful experience.
You must get it right though. Assuming you felt like talking to someone, you should probably avoid a large restaurant. Alternatively, choose one where you know the staff and they know you. That way, conversations are easier. And these are conversations you would not have if you were with company and have to focus on them because you have to show good manners. You also get to know people you would not otherwise have met.
At other times though, I just want to be on my own, with my favorite local dish, unapologetically relating with my plate, and if I find the right local dish for me, eating it with my natural cutlery, free from distractions. I can focus on the ewedu and abula, and allow the fresh fish stew melt in my mouth. I may eat more when I alone and also be more satisfied because I take digest the fish bone segment by segment without feeling subconscious.
As I write this, I was planning my next escapade combined with the defense of my PhD thesis in South Africa before I had a car accident and my bag was stolen in the confusion. That bag had my international passport. It is a process to get a new passport. However, when I do, I will travel through Accra and visit the restaurant where I ate fufu and light soup on the way from Cape coast last year. The language barrier was imperceptible, and I was not alone. However, I saw bowls coming out of the serving area. I watched young people and football enthusiasts all around me and savored every mouthful of my seasoned goat meat.
In Freetown, waiters are often surprised I am dining alone. Sometimes I am offered a season discount or an extra snack. Swiss Spirit does that. And New Brookfield’s. And they are happy to pack up the bones left over from my feast of ribs, so I can give my dogs a treat when I get home. No wastage.
So do not feel guilty if you want to dine alone. This is 2018. Life has moved on. If you would like to chat with someone, eat at a bar or a restaurant with seating appropriate for chatting with others. Go when it’s not rush hour. It you want to concentrate on your food, find a place where you can small plates with different varieties. If the worst comes to the worst and you feel uncomfortable, have your laptop handy or a good book, and browse without working. Let the ulcer causing acids in your stomach rest for that period.
