26/09/2022
Of the entire range of our experiences, one is directly related to a sense of self-worth - self-esteem. “A person with self-respect values themselves, and vice versa: one feeling feeds another,” explains Dan Newby, coach and author of The Unopened Gift: A Primer to Emotional Literacy. “You know that you are important and have something to offer others.”
Self-esteem will allow you to stand up for your rights, defend your beliefs, and set personal boundaries.
Sounds great, but you may not yet understand exactly how to do it. The task is not easy, but it is in your power to radically change your view of yourself and the world around you.
“It will take hard work on yourself and the support of loved ones,” says Dan Newby. “That's one of the reasons why strong social ties are so important. Without them, we often feel lost.”
In order for changes to occur faster and more reliably, it is important to simultaneously work on yourself at the level of the body, language and emotions.
What happens at the language level when we "lose ourselves"? We begin to say things to ourselves like: “Why can’t I stand up for myself?”, “I don’t understand who I am”, “I don’t know who to trust anymore”. At the bodily level, we begin to slouch. On the emotional level, we feel confusion, anxiety, uncertainty.
You should stand confidently on your feet, without hunching or slouching, straightening your shoulders and lifting your head. It is a bodily expression of dignity and self-respect. Breathe evenly and deeply. Imagine yourself as a king or queen - your posture shows strength, but at the same time you are not tense.
Smile broadly, raise your hands and shout: “I am worthy / worthy of respect and will decide for myself how I live.” Sounds a bit weird, but just try it!
