IUL.org

05/12/2026

Today's Joke!

The Password

A man is having trouble changing his password, so he calls IT for help.

IT asks, “What password are you trying to use?”

He says, “MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldDaisyPlutoDaffyWashingtonMLK.”

There is a long pause.

The IT guy says, “Sir… why would you pick that?”

The man replies, “Because you told me it had to have seven characters, a capital, and a symbol.”

IT guy: “Yes…”

Man: “It does. Seven characters. A capital. And two symbols. Washington and MLK.”

Somewhere, an IT technician just quietly removed his headset and stared into the void.

Moral of the story: always be specific. Very specific.

05/12/2026

Today's Joke!

A man walks into a jewelry store to buy a gift.

A man walks into a jewelry store to buy a gift.

He points to a shiny ring and asks, “Is this real gold?”

The guy behind the counter checks the tag, grins, and says, “Au, you bet it is!”

The man nods and says, “Perfect. I’ll take the element of surprise.”

The cashier pauses. “Sir… that’s not really how chemistry works.”

The man whispers, “Exactly. She’ll never see it coming.”

Science teachers everywhere just proposed.

05/12/2026

Today in history: https://www.texarkanagazette.com/news/2026/may/10/today-in-history-may-11-deep-blue-defeats-kasparov/

Today in History: May 11, Deep Blue defeats Kasparov

Today is Monday, May 11, 2026, the 131st day of the year. There are 234 days remaining in 2026.

On May 11, 1997, IBM’s supercomputer Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov in the sixth and final game of their rematch in New York City, winning the six game match 3.5 to 2.5. It was the first time a reigning world chess champion lost a match to a computer under standard tournament conditions.

Deep Blue was developed by a team at IBM and was capable of evaluating up to 200 million chess positions per second. Kasparov had previously defeated an earlier version of Deep Blue in a 1996 match. The 1997 rematch drew global attention and raised questions about the future of artificial intelligence and human competition with machines.

Other historical events on May 11 include:
• 1858: Minnesota was admitted as the 32nd state of the United States.
• 1949: Israel was admitted to the United Nations.
• 1981: Reggae musician Bob Marley died at age 36.
• 1997: IBM’s Deep Blue secured its historic victory over Kasparov.

#1997

Today is Monday, May 11, the 131st day of 2026. There are 234 days left in the year.

05/11/2026

Today's Joke!

My father always used to say "the first rule of theatre is to leave them wanting more."

My dad always said, “The first rule of theatre is to leave them wanting more.”

Inspirational guy. Really passionate about the arts.

Standing ovation energy. Five curtain calls minimum. Never overstay your welcome. Always exit on a high note.

Absolutely incredible stage presence.

Terrible anesthesiologist.

Turns out “less is more” hits different when you’re mid-surgery asking for an encore.

05/11/2026

Today in history: https://www.heraldbulletin.com/community/entertainment/today-in-history-may-10/article_1d955c4c-7c55-4a98-a373-0d0aef822ef1.html

Today in History: May 10

Today in History: May 10

1775: Ethan Allen and Benedict Arnold capture Fort Ticonderoga from the British during the American Revolutionary War.

1869: The First Transcontinental Railroad is completed as the Central Pacific and Union Pacific railroads meet at Promontory Summit, Utah.

1872: Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman nominated for President of the United States.

1893: The Supreme Court rules in Nix v. Hedden that a tomato is legally a vegetable rather than a fruit under U.S. tariff law.

1924: J. Edgar Hoover is appointed head of the Bureau of Investigation, later known as the FBI.

1940: Germany invades Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg during World War II. Winston Churchill becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom the same day.

1960: The U.S. nuclear submarine USS Triton completes the first submerged circumnavigation of the globe.

1994: Nelson Mandela is inaugurated as South Africa’s first Black president.

2018: Malaysia’s longtime ruling coalition loses power for the first time since the country’s independence in 1957.

TODAY IS

05/11/2026

Today's Joke!

‎I dreaded each time the math teacher called on me in school.

I used to panic every time my math teacher called on me.

You know that moment. The classroom goes silent. You suddenly forget your own name. The numbers on the board start looking like ancient hieroglyphics.

While everyone else was solving for X, I was solving for the nearest exit.

The anxiety would add up.
My confidence would subtract.
My chances of getting the right answer? Divided by zero.

And the worst part? The more I tried to focus, the number and number my mind became.

By the time I stood up to answer, I wasn’t sure if 2 + 2 was 4 or a cry for help.

Respect to math teachers though. They really knew how to multiply my stress.

05/10/2026

Today in history: https://www.heraldbulletin.com/community/entertainment/today-in-history-may-9/article_90770a87-4364-444d-88b1-06c5887443cd.html

Today in History: May 9

Today in History: May 9

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Notable events on this day:

1671: Thomas “Captain” Blood attempted to steal the Crown Jewels of England from the Tower of London. He was captured but later pardoned by King Charles II.

1754: The “Join, or Die” political cartoon by Benjamin Franklin was first published in the Pennsylvania Gazette. It became a symbol of colonial unity.

1868: The city of Reno, Nevada was founded.

1914: U.S. President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation officially designating the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.

1945: Victory Day in Europe was celebrated, marking the formal acceptance by Allied forces of N**i Germany’s unconditional surrender in World War II.

1960: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first oral contraceptive pill for use.

1974: The U.S. House Judiciary Committee opened formal hearings on the impeachment of President Richard Nixon.

1994: Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as the first Black president of South Africa.

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

05/10/2026

Today's Joke!

What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo?

What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo?

“Use the horse, Luke.” 🤠✨

Somewhere in a dusty galaxy far, far away, a Jedi is trading his lightsaber for spurs and reminding young Skywalker that the Force is strong… but yeehaw energy is stronger.

May the horse be with you. Always.

05/10/2026

Today in history: https://ca.news.yahoo.com/0509-today-history-000203162.html

0509 Today in History

May 9 in History

In 1502, Christopher Columbus departed Cádiz, Spain on his fourth and final voyage to the Americas.

In 1671, Thomas Blood attempted to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London. He was captured but later surprisingly pardoned by King Charles II.

In 1754, the “Join, or Die” cartoon attributed to Benjamin Franklin was first published in the Pennsylvania Gazette. It became a symbol of colonial unity.

In 1862, during the American Civil War, the Confederate ironclad CSS Virginia was scuttled by its crew to avoid capture.

In 1904, the City of Truro reportedly became the first steam locomotive to exceed 100 miles per hour.

In 1945, the Soviet Union celebrated Victory Day following the formal acceptance of N**i Germany’s unconditional surrender, marking the end of World War II in Europe.

In 1950, French Foreign Minister Robert Schuman presented the Schuman Declaration, a proposal that laid groundwork for what later became the European Union.

In 1960, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first oral contraceptive pill for sale.

In 1974, the U.S. House Judiciary Committee opened formal impeachment hearings against President Richard Nixon.

In 2018, Malaysia’s general election resulted in a historic transfer of power as Mahathir Mohamad returned to office as prime minister.

0509 Today in History

05/09/2026

Today's Joke!

Need some clean lunchbox jokes for my 11-year-old. Got any/many?

An 11 year old says it is cringe. An 11 year old secretly loves it. Here are some 100% clean lunchbox jokes to make them roll their eyes and smile anyway:

1. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.

2. What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho cheese.

3. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

4. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.

5. Why can you never trust stairs?
They are always up to something.

6. What did one pencil say to the other?
You are looking sharp.

7. Why did the computer go to art school?
To improve its graphics.

8. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

9. Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because it felt crummy.

10. What is a ninja’s favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.

Print one. Fold it tiny. Slip it next to the sandwich. Pretend you did not hear the dramatic sigh at pick up.