05/26/2026
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
— James Baldwin
Before this hospitalization, I had slow mornings.
No alarm clock. No rushing.
Every morning around 6:30, a bird would sit outside my window and begin singing before the sun fully rose. Over time, it became part of my routine.
And every time I heard birds singing, I was reminded that before we became so modern and technologically dependent, our ancestors listened to birdsong as reassurance that all was well. Birds do not sing when predators are nearby or storms are approaching.
Then I entered the hospital two months ago and everything changed.
Now I wake up at 3, 4, and 5 o’clock in the morning to machines, vitals, patient care, and loud conversations in the hallway before daylight even arrives. Initially, I fought against it.
But living with chronic illness has taught me something: when the same lesson keeps appearing in your life, God is trying to show you something through it.
I have always loved routine. Predictability. Patterns. Chaos exhausts me. I avoid it at all costs.
But this season has reminded me that life does not always move according to our preferences. Sometimes fighting against what you cannot control only drains the little strength you already have.
So this morning, instead of fighting it, I prayed.
I made herbal tea.
I did my breathing exercises.
And I quietly began my day.
Maybe peace begins the moment we stop exhausting ourselves trying to control seasons God is asking us to endure.
If this reflection resonates with you, DM me “newsletter” for early updates on my upcoming book, Why Didn’t God Heal Me?, releasing in October.
