08/28/2017
My breastfeeding journey has been the longest journey I have ever endured. It has not been easy, it has to have been the hardest thing I have ever went through, especially in the beginning. I told myself countless times that I was going to stop on ___ months. When the months came around the attachment between Alexander grew stronger and stronger that I did not want to stop.
Within the first twenty-four hours of having Alexander, he did not eat. I found it extremely difficult to breastfeed during our time in the hospital, with the pressure from my mother, Aaron and the nurses I really just wanted to give up. He did not want to latch on because he had a high palate. But instead of feeding him formula, I went ahead and pumped and fed him the milk that I had produced.
Our first night home was quite a battle when it came to eating. For one, Alexander just wanted to sleep and so did I. Secondly, I was not up for shoving my breast into his mouth, I was so nervous because he was just so little and fragile. But the nurse had showed me three different ways to feed him if he was not latching. So I fed him with a small spoon and if that was too much I fed him with a syringe. My pump finally arrived after maybe a week of being home. And it was a life saver because I had been hand pumping my milk and I took forever. I was pumping left and right. But a miracle happened after that pump arrived, Alexander finally latched on and he was eating. Ever since then we have been breastfeeding!
When I went back to school I had pumped more and more. I would pump about four to six ounces of milk in one setting, unless I was extremely backed up and if I was backed up I would pump up to eight ounces. I looked at pumped milk as liquid gold, so if anything were to happen to it I would be super upset. Luckily, there was only ONE incident where Aaron burst a frozen milk bag while I was at work. I had never really been so upset until that day, but this is not what the post is about.
Around six months I had come to terms with weaning Alexander. I wanted to start weaning him because I had read that an article saying that the nutrition in the breastmilk changes and that your baby does not get the proper nutrients from the milk as he/she did at birth. But did I even get a chance to start weaning, NO! Alexander started teething around this time and boy was he clingy. So the only way to really help him, sooth him, and calm him down was to breastfeed him.
As we approach one year, I find myself at a crossroads. I do not want to stop breastfeeding him. I do not want alexander to drink any milk other then mine. And yes I have pumped and I still pump a good amount of milk. Although I have let him have formula, it was not because I wanted to. During school and my internship I became very stressed and was not producing much milk due to my poor diet and lack of sleep. But once School was over, I got back to eating properly and drinking more water and BOOM! I was producing more milk and I was back on track.
Looking back on this journey, I cannot believe that I have been breastfeeding Alexander since he was born. It feels great, not only have I been able to nourish my baby but I have also been able to save a lot of money. I thank goodness that my body was even able to produce, because I know women that wish they could have breastfed but couldn't because their body just would not let them. I pray that everyone woman can experience breastfeeding. I have to say that this has been one of the most rewarding experiences.
Below are some photos Aaron took of Alexander and I for a magazine spread project I had done during my fall semester. Alexander was maybe two or three months.
