02/23/2021
A popular American comic who was accused of s*xual misconduct and s*xual harassment last year released a video about the situation over the weekend. It is being widely referred to as an apology… but, it’s not. It’s what I call a “responsogy” (I made that up all by myself): a carefully crafted response that wants you to believe it’s an apology.
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It’s not an apology because he centered himself in it. He was introspective and emotional and honest and earnest… but about all the wrong things. He’s sad about letting people down. He’s sorry (kinda) for having a “hole” caused by the loneliness he felt on the road, insecurity, etc. and that he tried to fill it with deviant s*xual behavior. He’s sad that he’s got to live with the fact that his young son will grow up knowing what he did. And he wants our sympathy because, you see, he couldn’t control himself; s*x addiction is actually the real villain here.
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The majority of the video is an explanation of how he feels about his behavior. He was obsessed with getting s*x. He was defenseless and powerless to his desires. He’s even humblebraggadociously ashamed that as a celebrity, he has influence and power and access to women, and that he let it go to his head. He blamed his cavalier attitude about his transgressions on the flippant mindset he has as a comedian.
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But now he’s putting in the work. Dammit, it’s really hard for him to look at himself and admit that this is who he is, and that he has to live with this. But he’s getting the help he needs now. He’s on the path to recovery and he’s doing well.
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Again, it’s all about him.
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So, no… this is not an apology. Yes, he actually says “sorry” – but this responsogy video misses the mark in every way and I’m not sure what’s more unacceptable – that he believes his earnestness was worth sharing, or that his team, which no doubt includes PR, blessed this train wreck.
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I hope none of his accusers have the misfortune of seeing this.