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Sego Lily Consulting, Saratoga Springs, UT (2026)

05/26/2026

Let's hear it for the dads!

The next few weeks I'm going to be posting work/life family tributes to fathers. As a small business and leadership coach, I work with a lot of fathers. While many more mothers have worked full-time than ever before, fathers have consistently worked full-time despite their partner's workload (statistics for decades still hold at 95% in 2026).

Further, small business owner fathers work more than W2 employees- up 10-20 hours more per week.

I did a master's thesis on father involvement, and while both genders of parents do essential work, fathers make some unique contributions to their kids that aren't always talked about.

Here's fun fact #1: Fathers have a unique impact on their children's social-emotional development.

One recent meta-analysis reiterated from decades of research that involved fathers, when consistently present in play with their children (floor play with toddlers, rough and tumble play, reading with children, pretend play, etc.) had children with greater social competence, peer relationships, and confidence. This was especially true when mothers reported on this type of interaction (we know it really happened :)). https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885200625000754

It is tempting to come home from work from a high-stress day and put off interaction with your kids. You may not see the immediate difference you make in your kids when you sit down and play with them, help them with their homework, or become a tickle monster. There's an invisible effect you may not appreciate but it makes a massive difference in your child's brain development and social outcomes later in life.

Decompressing is so important, but you typically have a short window to interact with your kids before they go to bed. Before you spend too much time escaping at the gym, on Discord, or with Sportscenter, ask yourself:

-Did I get on my child's level and understand how their day went? (Family dinner is good, 1:1 time is better).
-Did I take the opportunity to tell them what I love about them and why they're special?
-Did I take at least 15 minutes to engage in some sort of play with each child? (Set a timer if needed!)
-Did I show up to something that means a lot to them (a game, a practice, a performance).

I'm going to reiterate this again: This may seem basic. But what is common sense isn't always common practice to overwhelmed, busy people.

If you need someone in your corner to help navigate work stressors and your responsibility to show up for your family, I'm happy to help. DM me here or reach out at [email protected].

05/20/2026

They say the customer is always right-but what do you do when they're really wrong?

Back in college I had a mentor who taught me an important approach to having tough conversations with people. It has been a vital tool for everyone I've coached in leadership groups, for business owners working with angry clients, or a manager having to let someone go.

It's the simple approach of compassionate truth-telling. Equal weight is given to how people are feeling, and what is fair going forward. And while it may be common sense, most people get it lopsided on one side or the other.

When a difficult situation comes to a head, you can build a conversation (ideally beforehand) with the following steps:

A. Create a sense of safety and empathy

1) Listen to the customer's complaint with no judgment. Actively listen, use reaffirming cues and language, and review their concerns to make sure you are understanding them correctly.

2) Care about the core concerns of the customer and take inventory in your mind about what is true on their end (what was unfair, what didn't go according to their expectations), and reinforce the feelings they may be experiencing. This may seem like human relations 101, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes this step is skipped, and it's often the most important.

B. Create a sense of fairness for both you and the client

1) Then review in your mind what is also true from your business' delivery expectations, policy, and labor value on your end in the situation. Unless you truly underdelivered in this effort, you don't have to give into a discount, or an apology. Stay neutral and engaged.

2) Lead with creating clarity. Sometimes, what feels unfair, unfinished, or undelivered is simply a communication issue. Walk the client through the situation step by step and see if there is a way to reconcile both points of view.

3) Create a plan to move forward. The end goal is the point-they need a valuable deliverable; you need to be fair to your cashflow. Find a compromise and resolution so both parties are satisfied.

Sometimes we panic when an employee, client or supervisor is upset. However, deescalation is possible when people feel valued, clarity is created, and solutions drive the conversation.

If you need any support navigating a tough team member or client situation, I'm happy to lead you through tough calls! Feel free to DM me here or book a quick strategy session at 801-361-8478.

04/17/2026

As professionals, we talk a lot about what we can do to avoid burnout-but what do you do when you're already there?

Many people who run side gigs and businesses are burning the candle at both ends. They often work a full-time job, run their business, and also show up presently for their families.

Many owners, especially women, just push and push so they can do it ALL.

While chasing your dreams is worth it, you might start to notice your brain and body shutting down.

You notice the signs-snapping at your kids, wake up exhausted, barely have time for your partner, forgetting tasks, and your house starts looking like a mess.

So, where do you start to get out of your funk?

Here are some strategies that have helped my clients (and myself) so you can show up as your best self for those who matter most:

Do a whole day dedicated to a SELFIE reset (inspired by Casey Pehrson):

Take at least one day COMPLETELY off and do the following:

-Sleep reset (even if you achieve a full 7-hour block, you're doing great!)
-Exercise (15 minutes as a start, but 30 minutes ideally to regulate your body and brain)
-Light (go outside for at least 20 minutes-a win/win if you couple this with exercise with a friend!)
-Fun-Go to an event nearby, go to the park with your family, play some games, laugh hard, and ideally create a memory.
-Interaction (spend a few hours with people who lift you up, who youconnect with easily, and make you feel valued).
-Eat (fuel yourself with three NUTRITIOUS meals that involve protein, produce, and sitting down).

You don't have to book an expensive vacation to take time off to deal with your burnout. In fact, while travel is fun, it's complicated and can still leave you exhausted. Take a one day to reset (or weekend!) and you'll be shocked at how much better you feel.

It's ideal to work in SELFIE habits every day, but for those who feel like they're drowning, starting with one day dedicated to healthier habits it the right way to spring you back into shape.

If you need some encouragement in this area, message me for a free 30-minute free strategy session to help you get back on track. (DM me or text 801-361-8478 to schedule a call!)

04/01/2026

Let's give a shout out to the "mompreneurs!"

Microbusinesses started by women have boomed since the pandemic. The need for supplemental income, the technology to work remotely, the flex options of determining your own hours, all while saving on heavy childcare costs, makes microbusinesses attractive to women. In 2026, women owned 49% of new businesses, and 90% of those were microbusinesses.

So I have to ask you- how are you all doing?

Even with the changing landscape of businesses and gender, women in these roles are still far more likely to fall into the "second shift." Men who own businesses are still far less likely to be the primary caregivers of their children, with at least 54% of women assuming that responsibility.

While working our dreams is highly motivating and fulfilling, is our work/life balance still working for us?

Here's some gut check questions for you:
-Am I paying myself back for the time I'm investing in developing my business, so the ROI is worth it? Or is my business more of an expensive and time consuming hobby?
-Is the cash flow I'm providing justifying the help I need with the kids and house? Am I getting that support I deserve for what I bring in?
-Be honest-do I ever get a break? Are my mental and physical needs being supported?
-Am I setting the right boundaries to eliminate as much work and home spillover as possible when my loved ones are present?

Mompreneurs are incredible! You take so much on, it's important to take inventory of your stress levels, your needs, and focus on your loved ones while you pursue your dreams.

If you ever want to chat about strategy around your "second shift," feel free to chat with me!

03/19/2026

What works for your work/family life balance is less about fairness, and more about support.

The Pew Research Center said that about 56% of couples say that fair division of labor is an important factor to a happy marriage, and this is especially important to consider for small business owners who work irregular hours and are vulnerable to burnout. So, what's the key to navigating division of labor in families that are already overrun?

It's not so much about a 50/50 shared responsibility, or "his" roles vs. "her" roles (especially when 60% of American couples are dual income)-it's about making sure that labor FEELS shared and both partners FEEL supported.

Sometimes people will sure their chore chart system and honey-do lists that work for their family, just for others to feel resentful that what they're doing isn't working. But what matters is what works for YOUR family when both partners are feeling overwhelmed. Here are a few questions you can talk about together:

1. Where do you feel like you need the most help with housework?
2. What chores or tasks make you feel the least drained, and which of those would you like to do regularly?
3. Be honest, do you feel like I'm supporting you enough with household management? What small changes can we make to help you feel better?
4. Because we have a busy business, would it help you to hire someone once a month to help with deep cleaning or a big project?
5. Are there ways we can work together as a family (including the kids) to better share the load?

The important thing is follow-through, support, and communication. Here is a great article about how couples are less likely to divorce when household work feels shared, and when both parents are involved with the kids: https://news.byu.edu/news/do-chores-together-better-relationship

If you need help navigating work/life balance, I'm happy to have a free, 30-minute strategy chat with you! Reach me at 801-361-8478.

02/22/2026

Is your version of success serving you?

I imagine we sometimes miss childhood moments of participation trophies and just "doing our best." Our adult world is less carefree, where bills and 401ks need to be paid. However, is your pursuit for perfection or a certain bottom line robbing you from ever feeling successful?

I coach leaders and contractors who sometimes feel that perfection is the only option for success. Ironically, those who care so much about perfection and "not messing up" inadvertently get in their own way. They can freeze up, struggle to communicate with superiors, overcommit, make their best guesses without consulting for help, and aren't always likeable to their peers.

I offer one tiny mindset shift that helps them turn things around=excellence over perfection.

Perfectionism leads to paralysis, procrastination, self-deprecation, powerlessness, and putting on a facade.

Excellence energizes, elevates, encourages, and pushes innovation. It also allows people to show up as their authentic selves, and experience that feeling of being "enough."

The world can be very high-pressure, but if we don't lose that childlike desire to progress and appreciate what we are doing right, we can experience many moments of "winning."

If you need any help with mindset shifts, I'd be happy to offer some coaching that works for you. Reach out here or text me at 801-361-8478 for an introductory call.

01/30/2026

Are you running your marketing, or is your marketing running you?

When you are a small business owner, you have to remember that time=money. And in the end, sales are the goal over influencing.

You could spend the same amount of time working at a lower-wage, stable job with guaranteed money, and make about the same amount as draining all of your time on marketing (with catchy reels, photoshoots, and podcasts) to make only one high-end sale. Even worse, I've seen some microbusiness owners spend the majority of their time on marketing just for it to lead to 0 sales. Ouch.

If that's you, you need to stop and rethink your strategy. Your small business marketing investment is only worth it if you're getting cashflow, even if you're spreading good ideas.

In traditional marketing, they tell you to broaden your influence as much as possible to get as many eyes on you as possible, and over time, those people will eventually funnel down into buyers (marketing funnel). However, for many microbusiness owners, that strategy can be unreliable. If anything, you have to operate with an upside-down funnel (see this great article on this strategy: https://www.mailmunch.com/blog/the-upside-down-marketing-funnel).

Start with who you know, build relationships, offer excellent service, and focus on creating credibility and positive stories about your service. It doesn't matter if you have a lot of followers-your happy customers will start telling stories about your services. Once those experiences come through, so will your reputation and awareness, which you can share on social media as you go.

Yes, having a decent amount of followers helps your public image and credibility, but it's not the focal point. Here's how you should prioritize your time:

-Establish social media pages and a basic website to show you are an official business
-Have those in your circle, and your clients start following you and sharing great stories about you
-Post quality content at least once a week (with a focus to show how well you serve your clients and fulfill their needs).
-Ramp up Google Reviews, and network with people in person as much as possible.

Small business owners work tirelessly to keep their business running. Marketing is important for presence, but you cannot afford to let it be a distraction or an investment if you aren't seeing profit. Be willing to pivot and make authentic connections (including in social media business groups!) to create real leads.

If you feel stuck in too much content creation, book a strategy call with me and we can come up with organic ways to connect, build relationships, and get to the sale quicker. DM me or text me at 801-361-8478 for support!

01/02/2026

Make "connection" your New Years resolution!

Connection is incredibly important for your business, and it's the key to preserving all of the significant relationships in your life.

When we discuss navigating work spillover and work/life balance, it's really common to think about all the things to "stop" doing: get off of your phone, stop talking about work, stop answering emails, stop working late, etc. While that's important, it's even more vital to focus on building connection with that time. Focus on what TO do rather than just becoming available.

John and Julie Gottman, who are giants in the family science world, discovered a key component to building daily connection-it's called "turning toward." Every day our loved ones put out bids for connection, and the way you keep a relationship going is to turn toward those bids. These tiny bids can be verbal or non-verbal, like a sigh, grunt, "how are yous", a glance in your direction, etc., and responding to these quickly and proactively is extremely important. Procrastinating responses to these bids can be damaging, turning them completely away is even worse. In fact, couples who only have a 33% response rate to bids got divorced 6 years after their first evaluation. Couples who stayed together turned toward bids about 86% of the time.

You can also create bids for your loved ones. In my personal research in grad school, dads were the main instigators of connection bids with their teens, not the other way around. Be proactive about creating and responding to connection moments by checking in, asking what's important and interesting to your loved ones, notice and compliment what they're doing, and ask if you can join in with what they're doing.

For a list of bids and how to "turn toward," check out this great blog piece on the Gottman blog: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/

Best of luck for a happy new year in your work life and personal life! For personalized advice on how to make your loved ones a priority, feel free to reach out and we can brainstorm how to create more connection moments.

12/30/2025

Your small business' survival isn't about putting up a fight-it's about finding your place in the economy and sustaining its growth.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned working for small businesses and non-profit projects is that long term survival has far more to do with a viable network than a specific, great product.

Not that you shouldn't put out something great-your contribution needs to be unique and substantive. But the other members of your community can offer you referrals, share inside news about the market, help you problem solve, and innovate. Like a flower garden, other plants fight pests together, enrich the soil, and attract pollinators (buyers). The key is being involved, generous, and holding on to your unique brand.

Here's a recent blog article examining the benefits of both collaboration and competition in the market: https://businessklub.com/business-networking/small-business-collaboration-strategies-partnerships/

Let's chat about how to expand your network while letting your unique business contribution shine. Send me a DM or text me at 801-361-8478 to coordinate a chat.

12/30/2025

"It's personal, but don't worry-I don't take that with me to work."

I hear this in my leadership coaching all the time. We do a quick inventory on how people feel about different areas of their lives. As we do this, most clients stress that the other moving parts don't impact their work. I've found the opposite to be true- the most effective leaders and business owners who do well in leadership have higher scores in their personal lives as well.

In other words, as a business leader or owner, you are greater than the sum of the different parts of your life. You are a whole person.

And while people try to say their personal lives don't impact their work, if they are under stress, the reverse is almost never true. Families can pay a heavy price for their stressed out, burnt out loved ones. Compartmentalizing only works in the short game.

So be honest with yourself, especially as we begin a new year:

-Am I the business owner/leader I want to be?
-Am I the partner or parent I want to be?
-Am I in tune with my own personal development?
-Am I taking care of my mind and body?

It may be daunting to see multiple areas of needed improvement, but the point is to remember that many parts of your life are important. You'll show up better everywhere if you allow yourself to thrive in well-rounded ways.

I'm here to help you see your life's needs and responsibilities clearly as you lead in your business. Let's chat if you could use some support! Shoot me a message here or at 801-361-8478

12/23/2025

It's almost Christmas, which means for most business owners and employees, they finally get a few days off.

However, are you allowing your mind to take a break so you can be fully present for your loved ones?

During my last few years as a coach, I've noticed a few things that have helped leaders reset:

1. Do a mental transition activity: The minute you close shop, you may need to decompress a little. A little exercise, playing a game or two, reading, meditation, journaling, watching something funny, or doing puzzles are all great ways to reset your mind before heading to parties. Here's a great list of unwinding from Calm: https://blog.calm.com/blog/how-to-unwind-after-work

2. Make a formal mental decision to set work aside: Sometimes we get in such a habit of working and thinking about our businesses, we don't feel like we have the permission to let go. Give yourself that permission with a simple ritual. You can write it down in your journal, say it out loud as an affirmation, or tell someone you can count on to hold you accountable (like your spouse). Once you make a commitment, you're more likely to stick to it. Here's a few more tips in a great article: https://www.integrative-psych.org/resources/setting-boundaries-at-work-strategies-for-mental-well-being-and-work-life-balance

3. Look outside yourself: An easy and natural way to let go and be present is to make the decision to focus on others, either through service, giving, or connection. Make it a goal to check in with your loved ones and focus on their interests and needs. This is especially easy during the holidays, so take advantage of meaningful opportunities help someone who is in need, cheer someone up, help out with chores, or have fun with your kids. Here's a link to some fun science facts about service: https://lifeforwardcounseling.org/neuropsychological-benefits-serving-others-science-altruism/

The holidays are meant to be enjoyed, so please allow yourself to do so! Your loved ones will thank you.

If you need any help in this area, I love helping leaders create goals that allow them space to let go and refocus on what's most important. DM me or reach out at 801-361-8478 for a free initial consult. Happy Holidays!

Sego Lily Consulting

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