08/05/2026
Thanks to my friend and former awesome boss, DeeDee Mathis, I had to try this…asking my new bff & personal assistant, ChatGPT, to write me a “funny autobiography.” I’ll let you be the judge…does it sound like me? (Or at least the work version of me? 😉)
The Accidental Expert: A Mostly True Story
by Melody Tholstrup (or at least someone who answers to that name)
I was born with two gifts: the ability to talk to absolutely anyone and the inability to sit still when something needed fixing. While other kids were learning multiplication tables, I was mentally redesigning restaurant menus, correcting grammar on church bulletins, and wondering why local businesses had such terrible signage.
By adulthood, I had somehow become what experts call “a marketing professional” and what my friends call “the person who can’t enjoy a billboard without critiquing it.”
Over the years, I survived newspapers, magazines, ad agencies, websites, social media, algorithms, hashtags, QR codes, and at least 47 people who said, “Can you just make this go viral?” I built a career helping businesses stand out while personally trying not to stand out in networking events where everyone wears name tags and says things like “synergy.”
At some point, I became the owner of My Size Marketing, because apparently after decades in marketing, I still believed sleep was optional. I spent years helping businesses discover that “one size fits all” marketing usually fits no one — kind of like conference T-shirts.
I’ve worked with hotels, hospitals, space companies, food trucks, film festivals, and enough small business owners to know that every entrepreneur has at least one emotional support coffee cup and a password written on a sticky note somewhere.
People often ask how I stay calm under pressure. The answer is simple: after surviving clients who send “tiny edits” that require rebuilding an entire project from scratch, nothing scares me anymore.
I’ve also learned several important life lessons:
* Never trust a microphone at a live event.
* “Quick question” is never quick.
* If someone says, “This should only take five minutes,” cancel your evening plans.
* There are two kinds of people in the world: those who proofread and those who embarrass themselves publicly. (And I have been both.)
Outside of work, I occasionally attempt to relax, though my version of relaxing usually involves reorganizing marketing plans, helping nonprofits, attending events, or mentally rewriting poorly designed restaurant menus while trying to enjoy dinner.
Despite the chaos, the deadlines, and the group texts that could have been emails, I genuinely love what I do. I love helping businesses grow, helping people tell their stories, and helping overwhelmed entrepreneurs realize they do not, in fact, need to post on 14 social media platforms before breakfast.
And if my life has taught me anything, it’s this:
You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need good people, a sense of humor, strong coffee, and a backup charger.
(And because I asked nicely, ChatGPT even made me a book cover to go with it. 📕😁👍)
