05/05/2026
My boyfriend punched the wall next to my head after I confronted him about neglecting our baby.
I (26F) came home from work at two in the afternoon to find my eight-month-old son asleep in his crib, soaked from head to toe in his own urine. His mattress was drenched. His sleep sack was drenched. His tiny body was lying in a puddle of cold p*e. His eyes were puffy, his nose was clogged, and when I woke him to change him, he screamed like he had been crying for hours and finally gave up.
My boyfriend (26M) was asleep upstairs. He had unplugged the baby monitor around noon so I would not see that he had abandoned our son in his room alone so he could go back to bed. The diaper I removed was so full it looked like it had not been changed since I did it at four in the morning before I left for work. My baby had been sitting in his own waste for God knows how long, crying himself to sleep because his father chose a nap over him.
When I confronted my boyfriend, he did not apologize. He got angry. He said I was accusing him of neglect. He said our son was just being fussy for no reason. I explained that our baby probably wanted a diaper change and wanted out of his bassinet, not to be abandoned in a soaked crib with no monitor. My boyfriend told me he did not care. He told me to get out multiple times. He said, "He's alive, right? So why are you making it a big deal?"
I kept talking because I was terrified and furious and our son deserves better. That is when my boyfriend went from zero to one hundred. He stormed toward me, put his hands on me, and moved me out of his way. I screamed at him not to touch me. He yelled that I was not listening to him. Then he punched the wall right next to my head. He looked terrifying. I was bawling. I ran out and called his mother because I did not know what else to do.
The next morning, I tried to take our son to my mother's house before work so he would be safe. My boyfriend came downstairs and raised his voice again. He said I was not taking our son anywhere. I asked why he was yelling in front of the baby. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "It's either that or I punch walls. You choose."
He threw a full water bottle on the ground so hard it exploded. I locked myself and my son in the bedroom while he paced outside the door telling me I was being dramatic. My son was crying. I was crying. My boyfriend was acting like we were the problem for being scared of him.
He came home last night with flowers and my favorite candy. He has not apologized. He still says I handled everything wrong. He says he knows he messed up but I did not deserve to hear him say it. He has told me before that he only says sorry to people who deserve it.
I am hanging on by a thread. I feel like anything I do is wrong. I feel like I cannot trust him to watch our child because all he does is play video games and smoke w**d while our son cries alone in a wet crib.
Am I wrong for wanting to leave? Am I wrong for thinking a man who punches walls and blames me for his violence is not safe to be around my baby?
