Orange Peel Gazette Of Osceola County

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Orange Peel Gazette Of Osceola County Advertising Media - Serving all major Osceola County Areas: Saint Cloud, Kissimmee, Poinciana, Narcoossee and Lake Nona Areas! Founded in 1998

"Connecting Customers to Businesses... That's What We Do Best!"

24/03/2026

Do You Serve Lawyers Here?
A man holding a big crocodile walks into a restaurant…
He asks, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
The waiter replies, "We sure do!"
"Good," says the man. "Give me a Coke, and I'll have a lawyer for
my crocodile please!"

19/03/2026

Things You Say After You Turn 50
1. Where in this world is my phone?
2. How did I get this bruise?
3. This isn't my password either!
4. How do they expect you to read this small print?
5.Where did I put my glasses?
6. I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable. It's uncomfortable!
7. Who is calling at 9:30 p.m.?
8. Does anyone say "please" and "thank you" anymore?
9. How do you throw your body out of whack by just sleeping wrong?
10. This scale can't be right!
11. What is wrong with people today?
12. Why did I come into this room?

17/03/2026

Just A Thought
I find it helps to organize things into three categories:
First, things I won't do now; second, things I won't do later;
and third, things I'll never do.

13/03/2026

What Your Password Should Contain
• At least 8 characters
• Upper and lower case letters
• A symbol or number
• A hieroglyph
• A haiku
• A musical note
• The feather of a hawk
• A drop of unicorn blood

10/03/2026

Help, Police!
A little kid calls the police…
"Police? You need to come quick! My dad's been fighting with our neighbor for two hours!"
"Two hours? Why didn't you call us earlier?"
"Earlier, my dad was winning."

03/03/2026

March Jokes
Q: What do you call a flower that blooms in March?
A: A Spring chicken!
Q: Why do people love March?
A: Because it's the only month that makes you feel like a weather expert!
Q: What did one March flower say to the other?
A: "We're blooming marvelous!"
Q: Why do March winds blow?
A: To remind us that Spring is on the way!
Q: What is March's favorite exercise?
A: The Spring leap!
Q: Why did the frog take a nap in March?
A: It was tired of all that jumping around!
Q: What is March's favorite snack?
A: Spring rolls!
Q: What do you call a March breeze?
A: A breath of fresh air!
Q: Why are March winds so popular?
A: They really blow everyone away!

17/02/2026

Zoo Problem
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo.
A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "Unless somebody locks the gate at night, I think they will just keep going!"

10/02/2026

Careful Decision
"Mr. Murphy, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said. "And I have decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, Your Honor," the husband replied. "And every now and then, I will try to send her a few dollars myself."

09/02/2026

Valentine's Day Dream
One morning, after she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"Maybe you'll find out tonight…," he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled: The Meaning of Dreams.

30/01/2026

Absolutely Gorgeous
A wife just called her husband and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just
received some flowers for Valentine's Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"
The husband replied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

29/01/2026

Some Fun Facts
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hairs.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number 3.
6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog.
7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled.
8. You skipped number 5.
9. You just checked to see if there is indeed a number 5.
10. Okay, fact is, you need to go to work now.

26/01/2026

What Floridians Sometimes Do When They Are Out of State
• Complain about not having a Publix nearby.
• Inform the locals that artificial sand dumped on the edge of a lake is not a beach.
• Wonder how people afford both winter clothes as well as summer clothes.
•Argue with every non-Floridian who thinks the state is just full of alligators and craziness.

Address

FL

Opening Hours

Monday 10:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 10:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 10:00 - 17:00
Thursday 10:00 - 17:00
Friday 10:00 - 17:00

Telephone

+14078925556

Website

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Our Story

Welcome to The Orange Peel Gazette of Osceola County. We are the original founding franchise of The Orange Peel Gazette worldwide.

With countless “Newspapers” floating around reporting all of the current events around the community; we are founded on the idea of giving our readers something slightly more entertaining to read while providing local businesses with affordable marketing options.

Each issue of the Orange Peel Gazette features fresh and exciting jokes and short stories along with crisp, beautiful advertisements for our local businesses. We appreciate and serve our many loyal advertisers with pride as they are the true reason we are able to bring our readers this truly unique publication!

We publish our issues twice a month; on the 1st and 15th, and we distribute heavily throughout all of the major Osceola County areas including St. Cloud, Kissimee, Buena Ventura Lakes, Narcoossee, Lake Nona, and even Poinciana. We have also recently begun expanding our distribution into the South Orlando/Hunter’s Creek area. We are the only publication that is permitted within the walls of our local public schools (since it contains no controversial material). Our publication also has exclusive rights in the local hospitals, and we also distribute in many hight traffic areas such as restaraunts, doctor’s and dentis’s offices, and numerous retail businesses.