Orange Peel Gazette Of Osceola County

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Orange Peel Gazette Of Osceola County

Advertising Media - Serving all major Osceola County Areas: Saint Cloud, Kissimmee, Poinciana, Narcoossee and Lake Nona Areas! Founded in 1998

"Connecting Customers to Businesses... That's What We Do Best!"

21/04/2026

Who Just Asked for Warm Milk?
"We have your son," said the kidnapper. "I don't have a son," says the woman. "Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwiches?" "Oh no, you have my husband."

15/04/2026

The Angry Wife
One evening I was in a restaurant talking to my friend.
"Last night, while I was out, a burglar broke into my house."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home late!"

14/04/2026

Good Neighbor
"Are you going to be using your lawn mower Saturday?"
"Yes, I will be."
"Good... so can I borrow your car then?"

13/04/2026

Generations
Daughter: Alexa, play "Let It Go."
Dad: When I was your age, I had to call a radio station, wait on hold for 30 minutes to request a song, then sit by my boom box for an hour for my song to play with a blank cassette tape so I could record it.
Daughter: I don't understand any of that.

10/04/2026

Sands of Time
A woman is walking along the beach with her children, appearing to be looking for something. At this moment, a lifeguard traipses up to them.
"Excuse me, Ma'am," he says. "I had noticed you seemed to be looking for something and wish to offer my help." "Yes, my husband is missing," the woman replies with concern. "My kids buried him in the sand, and now we can't find him." "Do you remember where you were sitting recently?" the lifeguard asks. The woman looks up at him incredulously. "Don't be silly, would you have remembered where you were sitting a year ago?"

09/04/2026

Navy Officer Cutting Through
A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him.
"Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded.
"No, Sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof either."

08/04/2026

Parenting Toddlers
A friend asked what parenting toddlers is like.
So I hid her keys, headbutted her in the face, and then told her I love her more than the stars.

07/04/2026

Broken
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly.
As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"

24/03/2026

Do You Serve Lawyers Here?
A man holding a big crocodile walks into a restaurant…
He asks, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
The waiter replies, "We sure do!"
"Good," says the man. "Give me a Coke, and I'll have a lawyer for
my crocodile please!"

19/03/2026

Things You Say After You Turn 50
1. Where in this world is my phone?
2. How did I get this bruise?
3. This isn't my password either!
4. How do they expect you to read this small print?
5.Where did I put my glasses?
6. I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable. It's uncomfortable!
7. Who is calling at 9:30 p.m.?
8. Does anyone say "please" and "thank you" anymore?
9. How do you throw your body out of whack by just sleeping wrong?
10. This scale can't be right!
11. What is wrong with people today?
12. Why did I come into this room?

Address

Opening Hours

Monday	10:00 - 17:00
Tuesday	10:00 - 17:00
Wednesday	10:00 - 17:00
Thursday	10:00 - 17:00
Friday	10:00 - 17:00

Telephone

+14078925556

Website

http://opgosceola.com/

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