Market You

10/05/2026

Golden Hour Outdoor Portrait Prompt | Male
Create a hyper-realistic 4K outdoor portrait of the uploaded person in warm golden hour natural light. Sun-kissed warm tones, soft background bokeh, organic natural atmosphere, genuine and approachable feel. The subject is captured mid-stride walking naturally toward the camera, one foot clearly in motion and the body in a relaxed natural walking rhythm. His eyes are directed at the camera or slightly off to one side with an approachable and energetic expression. One arm is in a natural mid-swing and the other hangs relaxed at his side or is lightly tucked in a pocket. He is dressed in a indigo monochromatic patterned golf shirt with the top buttons open,

showing refined fabric texture and natural folds. He wears a black baseball cap with the attached logo. One hand wears a subtle black ring. Highlight fine details such as hair strands catching warm light, skin texture with natural warmth, eye moisture, fabric texture, and ring detail. The background is a soft blurred golden-hour outdoor scene. Shot with an 85mm portrait lens look, shallow depth of field, natural golden hour light, warm color grading, outdoor lifestyle photography quality, ultra-sharp focus. No artificial plastic skin, no over-retouching, no AI skin smoothing artifacts, no extra fingers, no distorted hands, no messy anatomy, no text, no watermarks. Aspect ratio 4:5.

10/05/2026

Create a hyper-realistic cinematic editorial portrait poster using the uploaded reference face of the subject, seamlessly blended into the character while maintaining the exact facial identity, skin texture and expression realism of the uploaded person.
The subject is dressed in an extravagant vintage aristocratic outfit inspired by steampunk and royal Victorian fashion. He wears a luxurious emerald-green velvet coat with highly detailed gold embroidery, ornate floral stitching, layered textured fabrics, decorative cuffs, silk scarf details and antique gold accessories.
He is holding a pink ice lolly in one hand while raising his index finger confidently as if explaining a genius idea. The expression should feel intelligent, quirky, eccentric and slightly comedic.
The subject wears oversized circular gold-rimmed glasses with pink tinted lenses. Hair is slightly messy and dramatic with rich texture and cinematic lighting. Multiple detailed rings and accessories on the fingers.
Background should feel like a premium Instagram carousel cover design with layered typography and artistic depth. Large bold typography behind the subject reads:
“Follow For More Prompts ”
with smaller handwritten text saying “no. 1”.
Use a warm vintage beige and sepia colour palette mixed with rich emerald green and gold accents. Include subtle paper textures, faded architectural elements, graphic overlays, ruler marks, editorial scratches, soft grain and modern luxury poster composition.
Lighting should be cinematic and magazine-quality with soft warm highlights, realistic shadows and rich skin texture detail. Ultra-detailed fabric realism, velvet texture, gold embroidery depth and realistic hand anatomy.
Shot on a RED V-Raptor cinema camera, 85mm portrait lens, shallow depth of field, high dynamic range, ultra-realistic editorial colour grading, luxury cinematic atmosphere, 8K photorealistic detail, premium Instagram design aesthetic.
Negative Prompt:
cartoon face, distorted hands, bad anatomy, blurry textures, low resolution, extra fingers, unrealistic skin, duplicate objects, flat lighting, oversaturated colours, cheap costume texture, AI-looking eyes, warped glasses, messy typography, low-detail@ embroidery, plastic-looking skin, poorly blended face replacement, exaggerated proportions

09/05/2026

BREAKING: Local man accidentally becomes underground Pool Hall Champion after “just popping in for one game.”

What started as a casual Friday night quickly escalated into a full-blown international event.
Witnesses say the atmosphere became tense when two robots entered the tournament and started calculating bank shots using quantum physics.

The crowd went silent.
The beer went warm.

Someone sold three goats to place bets.
Against all odds, I remained calm under pressure… mostly because I still don’t fully understand the rules of pool.

Current rumours suggest the robots are demanding a rematch.

I’m demanding another beer.
“Cold Beer. Cheap.”

The perfect sponsorship for my sporting career.

06/05/2026

Right. That’s it.

I’ve officially reached my limit with this cold. 🥶
This morning I needed emotional support just to get out of bed.

My coffee froze before my motivation kicked in.
I’m now seriously considering relocating somewhere my eyebrows don’t develop icicles overnight.

Current shortlist: • Anywhere with sunshine
• Anywhere where “layering” means one light jersey
• Anywhere my car seat doesn’t feel like an Antarctic expedition

At this point, if a country has beaches, warm sunsets and temperatures above “penguin survival mode”... I’m interested.

Suggestions welcome.
Bonus points if huskies are NOT required for transport anymore.

05/05/2026

“I believe in peace.”

“But I also believe in consequences.”

I’ll ignore a lot.
Like… a LOT

But there’s a tiny line…
and it’s labelled: my family.

Cross that line,
and suddenly I’m no longer the calm one in the group.

Funny how that works.

05/05/2026

Winter has entered the chat… and it’s not playing nice.

The next few days?

Cold. Proper cold.

Layer up, people. This isn’t a drill.

30/04/2026

Out of office activated.

No cellphone signal.
No WhatsApps.
No “just a quick thing…”

Just me, the bush, and a strong possibility I’ll be outranked by wildlife.

Heading off on an African safari.

If I don’t reply, assume I’m either off-grid… or being judged by an elephant.

Wish me luck.

26/04/2026

22/04/2026

Sitting next to Sheldon Cooper while he’s deep into a full TED Talk on the whiteboard…

Equations. Arrows. Circles. More arrows.

Man’s out here solving the universe.

And I’m just sitting there like:
“Cool cool… but have you considered… not?”

At this point I’m not even pretending.

I’ve mentally left the room, started a business, had lunch, and come back.