09/03/2026
ANONYMOUS MEMBER
Kindly help. So just to summarize, I grew up in a debt household.
When the provider had a problem with inkongole.
The debts were not because of not having enough but lack of planning and family influences. Growing up I remember wondering why we didn't have certain things that others who had the same job like my dad had.
I also remember people coming to get the household things like the freezer and stuff here and there.
As a kid I really had no clue why but I only started understanding the problems as I got older.
As time went on things got so bad, he ended up selling the only house we had to clear some debts.
Luckily he bought a plot before the money would run out.
Unfortunately, when he retired he used this retirement money to build a house which is still not fully complete.
Fortunately, in all this chaos, mom and the first born have always been fighters and their fighting spirit rubbed on me and my siblings because we really focused on school and our first born sacrificed most of her youth educating us.
God has blessed us with jobs and now we are able to care for our parents.
The problem is they depend fully on us.
Now my issue is that because of how I grew up, I have become so strict with my finances compared to my siblings because I have lived with my parents more than they have.
I know debts are things we can't run away from due to life's uncertainties but I feel once it becomes a habit to borrow money it becomes very addictive.
I love to plan things and plan how the money will be used.
I don't like spending unnecessarily. Another thing is I live with a chronic illness that takes a part of my finances.
So I save a part of my salary because I don't like to burden my siblings.
Because of this, my family has started labeling me as being difficult when it comes to certain financial issues and decisions.
Believe me I do help when my family member need the money but there are certain things things I draw the line.
I don't know maybe I have a problem but the truth is I just don't want to be a situation I grew up in which I have started seeing in some of my siblings.
Debts not only affect the person borrowing but it also affects the people around.
The struggles of not having food, being chased from school and having people take about your family because of inkongole can be very traumatizing.
And the thing about inkongole it never stops because, even now he's still in the habit of inkongole, whereby we have had to come in as children to bail him out.
That's why I hate inkongole so much.
Am I a problem and do I need to be less strict? Kindly advise.