05/28/2026
For many years, fear of being laughed at made me more of a spectator than a participant in my own life. I was terrified of failing publicly. I learned to avoid the things that made me feel exposed, which was pretty much anything that required me to compete physically.
Last weekend I lined up for my first ever dirt bike race and I had literally zero anxiety about it. It got me wondering how and when that fear dissolved and it wasn’t any one moment but a series of choices, most notably who I surround myself with.
Waiting for the race to start, instead of fear all I felt was gratitude.
For my oldest son who lent me the best jersey to wear. 💕
For my daughter, lined up ahead of me, who has shown me what it looks like to push through fear. 💪
For my youngest son whose “who gives a F #$*” attitude is probably healthier than most adults. 👊
And especially for my husband, who has spent years making me feel supported instead of judged, capable instead of embarrassed, and safe enough to fail publicly and laugh about it after.
Which is probably why the funniest moment of the day ended up feeling weirdly symbolic.
My husband ran out to get video of me mid-race. Watching it back on my phone I was like, “Is that my dust?!”
I zoomed in and nope… it was actually someone passing me 😂.
Turns out my dust was not all that spectacular but it was just enough to leave the old me behind.
