22/03/2026
March 2020. Like everyone else, I thought lockdown would just be a pause. A strange, uncertain few weeks where the world stood still… and then we’d all pick back up where we left off. But life had very different plans for us.
That same month, my husband became unwell with what we thought was Covid. It wasn’t. What followed was months of confusion, misdiagnosis, and being told he was “too young” for anything serious. In August 2020, we were finally told it was lung cancer. Then it wasn’t. Then, two weeks later, it was again.
There is so much I could say about those first six months. Fear, frustration, disbelief. Living in a world already turned upside down, while our own world quietly fell apart.
At the same time, my little business, The Godmother Designs, started to fade. People were told not to buy non-essentials. To stay home. Orders stopped. Post office runs stopped. Everything slowed… and then stopped altogether.
In September 2020, my husband had lung surgery. By February 2021, I had to return to full-time work. The business had been sitting still for months by then, not just because of Covid, but because I simply didn’t have anything left to give. Survival, in every sense, became the priority.
In April 2021, we were told he had two brain tumours. That was followed by two emergency surgeries. Then recurrence. Then treatment. Then more decisions.
I began to realise that my business wasn’t something I could come back to. Not then. Maybe not ever.
So I found a job closer to home. Something steady. Something that allowed me to still be present. By September 2021, it felt like maybe, just maybe, life was softening again.
Then in October, we were told the cancer had spread.
December brought more bad news. January brought hospital stays, sepsis, and more uncertainty. And in March, we were faced with the question no one is ever ready for… continue treatment with little hope, or stop.
He chose to stop. We chose to live.
The next two months weren’t about hospitals or plans or “what ifs”. They were about memories. About time. About being together as a family in the most real and raw way.
In May 2022, he became unwell again. The tumour had returned.
And on 7th June 2022, he passed away.
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I never officially closed The Godmother Designs. There wasn’t a moment, or a decision, or a post. It just quietly slipped away in the background of everything else we were going through.
And for a long time, I felt like I had failed because of that.
But I know now… I didn’t fail. I chose where my energy needed to go. I chose my family. I chose love, even when it was hard, exhausting, and heartbreaking.
The Godmother Designs is now a memory, a part of my life that held so much creativity, comfort and purpose. But after almost five years of being quiet, I can feel something gently returning. Through creative writing, through home decorating, through finding inspiration in the small things again and plenty of beach walks with our dogs helps me escape and dream. And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll open that little store again.
For now, this is simply me acknowledging the journey. The reason I stopped posting. The life that happened in between.
Thank you to anyone who supported me, ordered from me, or followed along. It meant more than you’ll ever know.
Life doesn’t always go the way you planned. Sometimes, it asks you to let go of one thing… to hold onto what truly matters. And then, maybe, the things you once let go of will come back in some shape or form. Watch this space. 🖤
