Pure Derry

Pure Derry Local comedy, craic and merch merchant Local and world news from the self-appointed centre of the universe. If you do so, credit it. It's only fair. Sorry :(

Pure Derry is an online satirical news source which some local businesses have described as 'them shower of bastards!'. We offer real local views without any real local news, telling the truth through pure fiction. Often affectionally called PD, Pure Derry has been torturing the internet for around a decade now, with some well documented breaks in transmission to get a job, chase women, travel pla

net earth and figure out how to work the washing machine. Follow us now to avoid a punishment beating from Republican Action Against Inaction.

** INFO FOR USERS **
PureDerry shares local viewpoints with a fun & satirical spin. Often our posts will try to make a point, other times though they'll just be absurd, wacky or corny. There isn't really a set plan :)

Everything we write is 100% made up, unless we reference a news article, in which case that's probably the only fact of the story. Hopefully the truth still reaches you though, between the lines. We encourage good natured, witty and (hopefully) intelligent banter on topics we post amongst the community. We don't encourage rhetoric that we've all heard 1000 times before. Users posting abusive, sectarian, racist, homophobic or any other flavour of cretinesque bollocks will be banned. I've got no time for anyone trolling for reactions, especially those in the above categories. We would ask that users refrain from discussing, mentioning or referencing private individuals in derogatory or inflammatory contexts. We learned this lesson from experience!! :)

If you've any feedback, ideas or nuggets of info to share with us feel free to get in touch. Lastly, thanks for reading PureDerry, every like, share and word of encouragement makes this worth doing, so hopefully you get some fun & enjoyment out of all this!! :)

PD

** POSTING & USAGE GUIDELINES **

The Facebook 'share' functionality is there for a reason. If you are going to put something from our page on yours, even from our readers, use the 'Share' feature. Downloading or copying our text/images and re-uploading as your 'own' is bad etiquette. Businesses, organisations or individuals may not promote themselves on our page. We'll generally delete any such posts but may make occasional exceptions for good causes. We will not however re-post or share these causes on your behalf to our readership, so please don't ask us to do so. PD doesn't make community announcements, no matter how noble the cause.

The big man is still smoking his balls off 🀣🚬
27/06/2026

The big man is still smoking his balls off 🀣🚬

Weather Latest β˜”

DERRY CITY LAUNCH NEW MASCOT FOLLOWING FAN BACKLASHFollowing the contentious unveiling of 'The Candystripe Kid' this wee...
26/06/2026

DERRY CITY LAUNCH NEW MASCOT FOLLOWING FAN BACKLASH

Following the contentious unveiling of 'The Candystripe Kid' this week, Derry City have moved swiftly to appease criticism that he only appeals to children - by introducing a second club mascot for their Da to shout at.

"Fans deserve a mascot that really means something to us!" explained Don Redden-White from DCFC Supporters Group. "A character that captures the spirit of our city and the history of the club."

"We therefore greatly welcome the addition of 'Brandy The Greyhound' as our new adult mascot - and look forward to seeing him repeatedly circling the Brandywell pitch whilst we shout dogs abuse at him"

"Just like old times!"

The club's marketing department moved swiftly today, with members of the business community and local press invited to meet 'Brandy The Greyhound' - at a booze filled unveiling this evening before kick off.

"You spoke and we listened" explained club director, Paddy Simpson. "The da's are the ones buying tickets and paying for ice creams. So they deserve a big hug from a club mascot too."

"That's Felix Healy's real 1989 mustache, which he kindly donated to us today for an authentic Legenderry finish" he revealed.

Derry's underground gambling activity went crazy at the news. Bets we found on PolyMarket included: How many laps of the pitch he'll do; What time he'll first fall on his hole; How many cans he can drink and 'is it just James McClean dressed as a dog?'

Brandy will be pitch side tonight at the Brandywell, as Derry City take on Drogedha. Fans are welcomed to come say hello and grab a photo on his big club debut.

"Photos are free!" explained Brandy when we caught up with him in the fanzone.

"Unlike Ireland!" he added.

Weather Latest β˜”
26/06/2026

Weather Latest β˜”

14/03/2026

Travel advice for anyone planning a car journey soon πŸš—

Don't bother your hole. 🚫

Our inbox has been busy with folks looking for Stouts Out tops since our last post! πŸ’šFound a stash of gorgeous bottle gr...
13/03/2026

Our inbox has been busy with folks looking for Stouts Out tops since our last post! πŸ’š

Found a stash of gorgeous bottle green organic cotton sweatshirts this week. How nice are these? 😍

We currently have all sizes in green jumpers and green tees, except large randomly.Will post the stock left in comments. Drop us a message if you want anything. ☘️.

Tees are Β£20.
Jumpers are Β£30.
Β£5 OFF for every two items bought.
Free Delivery included. (Derry area only)

Appreciate all your orders!

STOUTS OUT n ABOUTWell done to Lisa Curran who won a FREE Stouts Out tee in our recent giveaway. ☘️ Well done Lisa, we'l...
11/03/2026

STOUTS OUT n ABOUT

Well done to Lisa Curran who won a FREE Stouts Out tee in our recent giveaway. ☘️ Well done Lisa, we'll be in touch! πŸ‘•

We're finally back posting and populating our wee online store again - and this design is now (for future ref) available on both hoodies and ladies fitted tees, in a variety of colours.

It's prob a bit late for online orders in time for March 17th tbh. 🚚 However we have a limited selection of green and black garments on hand for local delivery/collection, so if ye still want something, drop us a wee message and we'll do our best for ye.

Thanks for all your orders! πŸ™
PD

PS. Thanks to everyone on Waterloo Street for posing for this 100% authentic photo the other day πŸ‘€

What's your excuse? 🀭
09/03/2026

What's your excuse? 🀭

When you realise your oil prices πŸ›’οΈ have only doubled to take the heat πŸ”₯off evil hures πŸ‘Ώ and there's f*** all you can do...
07/03/2026

When you realise your oil prices πŸ›’οΈ have only doubled to take the heat πŸ”₯off evil hures πŸ‘Ώ and there's f*** all you can do about it! 😭

☘️ WIN A FREE STOUTS OUT TEE ☘️Planning getting off your face on St Paddys? πŸ₯Έ Need something fun to pull over your head?...
06/03/2026

☘️ WIN A FREE STOUTS OUT TEE ☘️

Planning getting off your face on St Paddys? πŸ₯Έ Need something fun to pull over your head? πŸ‘• Our wee online merch shop hasn't gone away ye know. 🀭

To be in with a chance of winning a free STOUTS OUT tee, in any colour, simply tag a friend you'd enjoy a 🍺 pint with below πŸ‘‡

Good luck 🀞
Jim Carrey Out

π‚πšπ§'𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚π₯ 𝐭𝐑𝐒𝐧𝐠? πŸ”₯ Simply make believe with our NEW Lego Home Heating Delivery set. πŸ›’ available for only Β£2...
05/03/2026

π‚πšπ§'𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐑𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚π₯ 𝐭𝐑𝐒𝐧𝐠? πŸ”₯

Simply make believe with our NEW Lego Home Heating Delivery set. πŸ›’ available for only Β£29.99* 🏷️

*Price may rise depending on the war between Lego Batman and Lego Star Wars

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Derry

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Monday 11am - 4pm
Tuesday 11am - 4pm
Wednesday 11am - 6pm
Thursday 11am - 4pm
Friday 11am - 4pm

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