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NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS, REAL NEWS IS FAKE NEWS.

THIS IS REALLY FAKE NO GOOD NEWS

Here at Universal News UK, we’ve grown tired of the same MSM bias and alternative nonsense so we have decided to do something about it, instead of just complaining on Facebook. With the help of some of the world’s leading scientists and an unfolded paper clip we have created the first Alternative Dimension Extractor. With a possible 11 different dimensions and infinite number of universes, we’re n

ever far away from the next big story. Please note; while all stories are true, the facts may differ between universes. We cannot be held accountable for you believing the wrong news in the wrong universe. All stories pertain from alternative universes, any similarities between people or events in this universe are purely coincidental, or an act of God.

15/06/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/02/27/Hormones-a-Myth-periods-just-an-excuse-to-moan

After a long and sometimes dangerous investigation, Universal News brings you this exclusive. Since the dawn of time, women have needed an excuse to be emotion

15/06/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/06/15/Man-dies-holding-in-fart-on-National-Clean-Air-Day

A man has died after misunderstanding the meaning behind national clean air day. Mr Trump, 51 from Gaseous Bottom died after apparently holding in a fart from ‘...

26/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/25/Islamic-State-Change-Tactics-After-Discovering-Trolling

The leader of Islamic State, Mohammed Imaf**kingdickhead, issued a statement in the typical ISIS fashion, namely a grainy video and an over sized scarf. He admi...

15/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/15/Leaked-Tory-manifesto-calls-for-%E2%80%98The-right-to-hunt-gingers-not-just-foxes%E2%80%99

Leaked Tory manifesto calls for ‘The right to hunt gingers, not just foxes’ A source close to the PM has passed a draft copy of their eagerly anticipated manife...

09/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/09/Bell-ringers-bell-end-falls-off-Two-dead

Canterbury- UK A heterosexual campanologist is facing chargers of personslaughter, previously known as manslaughter, after his 'massive' bell end became detache...

08/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/08/Tory-party-hacked-by-Russia

It would seem these days you can’t have an election without a little bit of friendly hacking, by those vodka fuelled gay rights abusing Russians. First it was C...

06/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/06/Scientists-discover-missing-particle-responsible-for-racism

Work carried out by scientists at CERN and published in this month’s Nature Journal detail the surprise results of the experiment. Prof Brian Cox (not the leadi...

04/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/04/Government-is-watching-your-we**am

An amendment to the controversial Investigatory Powers Act 2016, will allow the government and all associated departments to now access your we**am, mobile phon...

03/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/03/Illegal-to-reject-someone-sexually-if-they-are-transgender

Let me set the scene, you’re at a bar when an attractive lady sits beside you. Conversation starts to flow as more drinks are ordered. Sometime later you hear

03/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/03/Hampshire-council-ban-walking-with-more-than-two-children-at-a-time

In a follow up to their new public spaces protection order PSPO, which prevents dog walkers walking more than 4 dogs at a time. Hampshire city council have adde...

03/05/2017

https://www.universalnewsuk.com/single-post/2017/05/02/May-maybe-dismayed-after-Mayday-mayhem-mayhap-Mayors-May-election

Mays plans for a one-party country were dealt a swift blow yesterday when the conservative candidate for mayor of Doncaster, went on a mayday rampage. George Ja...

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