20/04/2013
I'm the Boss
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:
'I'm the Boss!'
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that
said: 'Your wife called, she wants her sign back!'
New Employee
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. 'What is the meaning of this?' the director asked. 'When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held.'
'Well,' the young man replied, 'in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.'
Bosses Vs. workers
When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.
When I do good, my boss never remembers
When I do wrong, he never forgets.
Solution for late comers
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
'Boss', he said, ' The pill actually worked!'
'That's all fine' said the boss, ' But where were you yesterday?'
