The Book of Knowledge

The Book of Knowledge The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him.

Affirmations: what is it and how to make it correctly?Affirmations are positive statements that we use to push negative ...
25/09/2022

Affirmations: what is it and how to make it correctly?

Affirmations are positive statements that we use to push negative stereotypes out of our consciousness.
You can use ready-made options, or you can create it yourself, taking into account several important nuances. You need to contact them at least once a day. This rule is the same for all affirmations.

How to write positive affirmations

❗️ Firstly, in order to correctly compose an affirmation, one should avoid denials, that is, particles “not”, the words “no”, “never” and similar. After all, these particles are associated with negativity, and it is from it that we try to get away. The phrase should carry a positive, creative load. For example, when writing affirmations for health, use instead of "I never get sick" correctly say "I am absolutely healthy."

❗️Secondly, the text of the affirmation must be formulated in the present tense, as if everything has already happened, and you have what you are talking about.

The word "want" (and/or "can") should not be used. Are you focused on “having” something or “being” someone, and not “wanting” something all your life? The same applies to the future tense - the fulfillment of desire in this case, as it were, is constantly postponed until later.

If your current state of affairs is such that possession phrases can be perceived as a mockery (“I am absolutely healthy” with a cold, a stuffy nose, a “heavy” head and a temperature of 39.9), use phrases that reflect a steady improvement (“Every day I'm getting healthier, more energetic and more beautiful").

The more clearly and specifically the message to yourself is formulated, the more effective it is. In addition, the effect of affirmations is enhanced by a bright emotional coloring. For example, compare: “I have my own house” or “I have a luxurious two-story mansion with a huge pool, a terrace and a two-car garage.”

Make up bright, attractive wording for you.

The affirmation should not be too long, as it needs to be repeated often. Of course, you should like it and literally come from your soul.
Well, the main principle: you must unconditionally believe in affirmation, as well as in yourself.
Believe - and you will succeed!

"I will never be loved" or the Emotional Deprivation Trap.If you experience difficulties in partnerships, loneliness, di...
24/09/2022

"I will never be loved" or the Emotional Deprivation Trap.

If you experience difficulties in partnerships, loneliness, distrust of people, perhaps in childhood you did not receive emotional, warm, caring relationships from your parent. And you have the feeling "I will never be loved." It is expressed: jealousy, suspicion, frequent change of partners or ...

Emotional deprivation - an inner feeling of emptiness, a feeling of an abandoned child. The sad feeling that you are destined to be alone. This is a defect that the child did not receive in childhood, and which he will look for all his life in people.

Sources of emotional deprivation in childhood:

▪️Mother is cold, unkind. Few hugs, holds the baby in her arms.
▪️Mother will not give the child enough time and attention.
▪️ Failure to meet the child's need for attention.
▪️When a child cries, the mother does not react, the child consoles himself.

Reasons for the formation of a trap:

The life of every child is primarily emotionally connected with the mother. It is she (the mother) who is responsible for the emotional care of the child. The father can fulfill this role, but in rare cases.

In the first years of our life, we are very close and intimate in an emotional relationship with our mother. Subsequently, this first experience is the prototype of subsequent relationships.

By some signs (we will give examples below), you can assume that you have this trap if it prevents you from living, realizing it and looking for a way to get rid of it.

Sign 1: People caught in this trap as children have the belief that their need for love will never be satisfied.

Relationships with the opposite s*x do not last long. Some people in this trap can be demanding of a partner. You are never satisfied with what you are given. If you recognize yourself in these feelings, ask yourself the question: "Am I just being told that I'm demanding, or am I really asking for a lot?"

Sign 2: In this lifetrap, there may be a sense of chronic frustration with people. Feeling like you can't trust people. Or short-term mistrust.

All our lives we carry the stamp of our first experience with our mother. We are looking for what is missing in partners, shifting responsibility for our injuries to them.

How not to become a victim of stressful situations.In order not to become a victim of stressful situations, you need to ...
23/09/2022

How not to become a victim of stressful situations.

In order not to become a victim of stressful situations, you need to learn how to control your emotions. It all starts with positive thinking! It is impossible to predict or know when this or that event will occur, but you can always be mentally prepared for them. It is necessary to understand one truth - any situation can be turned to your advantage if you consider it with positive thinking.

First, in all difficult situations, you need to learn to look at the problem as an opportunity. That is, what can be learned from this problem, what lessons can be learned, what needs to be changed in oneself, what benefits can be obtained.

Secondly, despite the stressful situation, you need to learn to approach it with humor. What emotions usually come out in such situations? Of course, fear and panic. And with the help of humor, you can manage these negative emotions. Laughter releases hormones that can not only calm you down, but also help you take control of the situation.

Thirdly, for a while you need to distract yourself and do other things. Suitable, for example, reading a book, watching a movie or a regular walk. This will help you relax, reorient your thoughts and look at the situation from a different perspective. By refreshing your mind, you can solve any problem more effectively. Good sleep is essential here. After receiving stress, a tired mind is not able to think clearly, much less be in a balanced state.

According to research, the mind works best when it is in a moderate state of arousal. Therefore, stressful situations are a great way to activate and stimulate the brain to perform effectively.

Frames and dynamics in relationships.Each person has certain expectations, hopes about future relationships. There is a ...
22/09/2022

Frames and dynamics in relationships.

Each person has certain expectations, hopes about future relationships. There is a certain general outline, some general framework within which he sees future relationships.

There is no relationship yet, but there are already ideas, fantasies, expectations about relationships and a future partner. For example, about age, social status, nationality, religion, some skills, qualities of a partner, his behavior and feelings, his attitude to life, his goals and plans...

Such ideas, fantasies, expectations can be very diverse for every woman and every man. These are frames that can still be moved: expand or narrow.

Since childhood, we all constantly observe someone's relationship: parents, neighbors, passers-by, friends, relatives, etc. etc. And from childhood, we notice to ourselves: like this, I would not want for my relationship, but like this, it would be great. This is the creation of a framework for relationships. We begin to form these frames in childhood. And we continue to shape throughout life. And when we are already building our relations, we move these frames depending on the circumstances and acceptability for ourselves at the current moment.

When a man and a woman are already together, both of them move their frames within these relationships. It is a constant, continuous, mutual process. Those expectations that were built before the meeting collide with reality. Both a man and a woman change in time, their compatibility, communications, ways of interaction also change. The framework in which relationships and ideas about a partner fit at the very beginning no longer fit changing relationships and changing people. Suddenly, at some point, they become large or, conversely, small. This leads to the need for their revision. Initially, a man and a woman agree on where there will be a point of agreement between their frames. Stepping over the point of agreement, everyone will feel either their own disagreement or the partner's disagreement. When disagreement arises, it is again necessary to negotiate and move the mutual framework until agreement is reached. And you have to negotiate all your life, during the entire process of relationships.

🧠 5 facts from psychology that explain a lot.📌 If you are nervous before an important speech or meeting, try to have a s...
21/09/2022

🧠 5 facts from psychology that explain a lot.

📌 If you are nervous before an important speech or meeting, try to have a snack or, in extreme cases, chew gum. The subconscious associates eating with a safe environment. This life hack will help you calm down and collect your thoughts.

📌 The next time you are in a fun (in the best sense of the word!) company, pay attention to who is looking at you at the moment of laughter. Noticed: when laughing in a group of people, everyone directs his eyes to the one who is most attractive to him, or to the one with whom he would like to get close.

📌 Our facial expressions are not just a consequence of our emotions. It has been proven that facial expressions can also have the opposite effect. If you're sad, try smiling. Perhaps the feedback will work and you will feel much better.

📌 If you have an important interview or dialogue with your boss, try to imagine that you have been a close friend for a long time. This will help you to reduce the degree of emotions and more at ease and confidently behave.

📌 To understand if your interlocutor is interested in you, pay attention to the position of his legs. If the toes of his shoes “look” in the opposite direction from you, then most likely he wants to end the conversation as soon as possible and leave as soon as possible.

Four types of negation.Denial is a mechanism of unconscious refusal to recognize some painful aspects of external realit...
20/09/2022

Four types of negation.

Denial is a mechanism of unconscious refusal to recognize some painful aspects of external reality or subjective experiences that are obvious to other people.

Our psyche is so arranged that if we are in an uncomfortable situation for too long, or the suffering from some situation exceeds the limit that we cannot bear, then it includes psychological protection in the form of denial. It manifests itself in the form of a refusal to admit to oneself the existence of something undesirable. Denial protects us from unpleasant emotions and feelings, but has a serious drawback - it does not lead to a solution to the problem, or worse, it distorts our thinking and behavior. For example, you can deny important physical needs (food, sleep, s*x), emotional needs (love, acceptance, support), financial problems, and even your own mortality.

So, there are 4 types of denial:

1️⃣ Priority (rational) denial.

A person inspires himself, and at the same time his partner (or a person who is somehow dependent) with the idea that I (or we) now have “wrong” circumstances, or “wrong” time: it’s difficult with money, children study, no a separate apartment, you need to make a career, the global financial crisis, etc.

2️⃣ Idealistic (infantile) denial.

A person thinks that somehow (in some magical way), or over time, everything will be settled, the problem will "dissolve". For example, a woman who is not respected, beaten or cheated by her husband may think: "If I behave like a Vedic woman, then the man will appreciate it, he will understand everything, he will change."

Or the words of a drug addict: "I'm not sick, it's just that now is too difficult a period in my life, so I use drugs. Soon everything will work out, and I'll quit."

Or a religiously humble variant: "everything is for the best," "I deserve it," or "for all the will of God," which forms the position of the victim. This kind of denial allows you to completely remove responsibility for the situation.

3️⃣ Aggressive (emotional) denial.

A person with a sense of righteous anger defends his erroneous position in front of other people who tell him there is a problem, despite the fact that he knows about it and feels unhappy in these circumstances.

Self-conceit (false pride), morbid pride, expressed in such a person in the setting "I'm right, and you're wrong" does not allow him to admit that he has a problem or that he, in principle, may have them.

4️⃣ Unconditional (dissociative) denial.

It may look like manipulation ("who's here?"). The person "pretends" that he has not heard or understood the information about his problem that he has just been told. Sometimes he doesn’t even “pretend”, but actually doesn’t hear, doesn’t understand, or doesn’t remember (they say about such people that they are like “in a tank”, or “hello again”), since hearing, thinking or memory blocked by affective feelings. Therefore, a person may again ask the same question (or in a different wording), or talk about a problem in the hope of hearing the answer that suits him.

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