21/09/2022
In an ideal world, all people realize that excellent should be repaid with good, and they do it. For example, a mother carefully takes a baby to classes that are fascinating to him, and in return receives words of gratitude and pride. But the opposite also happens. "I did not ask you!" (give me to gymnastics, feed me pies, purchase a bicycle) - she can hear instead of gratitude. In return for her merits, mother also wanted to get attention and care, and therefore did good it was superfluous. Due to negative experiences, a person in a reflective position experiences resentment and a feeling of exhaustion. What could be worse than trying for someone else, wasting time and money, waiting for a response and getting nothing as a result? But few people, analyzing the experience gained, notice: it turns out that his efforts weren't appreciated, beca number one asked for them. After all, it's you who wish to get theater tickets for his birthday - and your partner prefers new pans, that you wish compliment and attention, but he needs personal space. At the everyday level, proflection resembles a market contract: you - to me, and I - to you. But if there are established rules and obligations between the seller and the buyer, then such agreements are seldom concluded in personal relationships. A proflexing person doesn't verbalize conditions that could be insurance against resentment. On a subconscious level, a person may have an attitude that he's not worthy of getting what he wants, but someone else may well claim it. People with a high degree of proflexion can have many friends, they love to turn to them for advice and help, which they'll always provide . But when all the energy is spent on others, there is nothing left for yourself. It's necessary to start to regain self-worth and authorize not only to want, but also to receive. Start to be more interested in yourself than in others. Hear to the advice that you give: maybe you should give them to yourself? one. Recognize the need It is required to realize what you wish for a partner or another loved one, and appoint this desire to yourself. This is already a huge step, which will get time to implement. Pay attention to your own feelings when, for example, you cook dinner for your partner over and over again in the evening, but at the same time perceive resentment when he does nothing of the sort for you. two. Start meeting that necessity in a more direct way It is necessary to look what attitudes lie behind the fear of an open request. Maybe you recollect family messages or communication patterns learned in previous relationships. three. Master the Direct Way to State Your Needs After all, your partner or friend isn't required to speak this Aesopian speech and most likely doesn't even know the rules of the game.
