03/09/2026
🗣️ WE HEAR THE SAME STORY, BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS SEE IT THE SAME WAY.
I don't know why I'm not on the laughing side… 😅
Please, don't comment out of hatred. Some of us are simply looking at the same story from a different angle.
While some people have judged her harshly and reduced her to what they think she was, I see her differently.
For me, as long as the two were legally married, I feel she deserved a share. And it wasn't necessarily for her, but for the child or children.
I don't think it was Fatra's mistake to accept Mr Mia's proposal. She was only 16 at the time, according to the account she gave, while he was the adult making the decision to pursue the relationship.
She also explained that she was later sent to South Africa. Azikadyera patali onabowo, it seems, the move was carefully considered.
And I think that, regardless of how Abida reacted, her reaction alone may not have been enough to prevent the marriage from taking place.
Within the Islamic understanding of polygamy, a man may take a second wife without the first wife's consent, although she may be informed of the decision. So, from that perspective, her becoming a second wife was not necessarily something unusual.
They were Muslims, and she had also grown up in an environment where polygamy was familiar to her.
Remember, she said she was a daughter of a Sheikh who himself had other children outside the marriage she was born into.
Growing up in such an environment, together with her understanding of Islamic beliefs about polygamy, may have influenced her to see nothing particularly wrong with accepting late Sidik Mia's proposal to become his second wife.
And pajansotu Muslim communities, some people may not see a significant problem with an older man marrying a much younger woman. Cultural and religious understandings can differ greatly.
That's not me defending or condemning anyone. I'm simply trying to understand the story from her perspective.
No hate. No shaming. Just a neutral stand.
And that statement, “She was okay with a relationship…” — I wonder why that sounds strange to some people.
A lot of women HATE it when a husband talks about marrying a second wife, yet some may react differently when they discover that their husband has a girlfriend.
Perhaps the thinking can sometimes be:
“Aah, ndichibwezi chabe, nothing serious…” 😅
But I understood the woman to be explaining the difference between how the first wife reacted when she discovered that the girl was dating her husband and how she reacted when she later realised that the relationship had become much more serious and was heading towards marriage.
The reaction apa, ingasiyanebe basi. Nkona kudatulukano mfuti 😂
As for Fatra's experience within the marriage, some of the things she described were concerning. She spoke about feeling that her education and independence were not encouraged.
If her account is accurate, that may be where the real tragedy lies — not necessarily in the fact that she became a second wife, but in the possibility that she may have missed educational and personal opportunities that could have changed the course of her life.
And that is why I find it difficult to simply dismiss her as a “hule as many of you are suggesting”
There was a young girl, a powerful older man, a particular family and religious environment, and a series of decisions that ultimately shaped her life.
Hon. Mia is no longer here to give his side of the story, so I think we should be careful about presenting either person's version as the complete truth.
Some of you are asking:
“Nawo a Sidik Mia adangozipakamo umu, amatsatamo chani?”
Fair question. But perhaps we should ask "Kodi mkazi uyuyu ndionyasa moti?" Ayitu 😂
No hate. No shaming. Just trying to understand the story beyond the labels.
Tikos
