26/11/2025
NZ educator helps parents understand teenage brains with new book
Wellington-based educator and speaker Kathryn Berkett knows what it’s like for parents, caregivers and teachers who feel confused and exhausted when puberty hits their young people who then seem to change overnight.
Her debut book, What’s Going On In There? explains what is happening in the teenage brain, using clear, engaging language grounded in neuroscience to help parents understand that adolescence is a temporary and essential upgrade of the teenage brain, not a shutdown.
With warmth, empathy and humour, Berkett unpacks the huge physical and chemical changes driving teenage behaviour, from shifts in dopamine and hormones to changes in facial recognition, risk-taking and social processing. Behaviours that seem moody, avoidant or reckless are reframed as natural responses to a brain under construction. When we understand that, everything changes.
“Adolescence is the most intense period of brain development since early childhood,” says Berkett. “Yet despite the thousands of books written about parenting, very few explain why teenagers behave the way they do on a neurological level, or how to respond in ways that truly help. What’s Going On In There? offers practical tools to help adults stay calm, stay connected and support the incredible development unfolding in front of them. The better we understand this stage, the better the outcomes – for them, and for us.”
As the founder of her own training consultancy, Berkett’s work is grounded in evidence-based practice and driven by a passion for empowering diverse audiences, from educators and clinicians to policymakers and parents, through her engaging presentations and training workshops.
One of her popular talks is for parents about the adolescent brain where she’s been asked numerous times if she had a book on this topic. “Invariably, I will have parents come up and thank me or reflect heavily on their current practice, or I hear from someone years later who tells me how much my presentation helped them parent differently. They often talk about improved relationships with their children. This is such a buzz when I hear this, so I wanted to write a book that might help more parents.”
A mother of two, Berkett wrote What’s Going On In There? for other parents, youth workers, other whānau members and teachers. “This book is really for anyone who struggles with the fact that adolescents behave so differently during that upgrade time. My absolute hope is that it helps adults get a better understanding of what is going on for teens during this period of change so they can relax a little and allow their relationship to grow.
“I hear so many stories of parents who have worried, stressed, acted punitively to their adolescents, then heard me and said, “wow, I wish I had known this”. The young person often turns out to be just fine. The behaviour at the time was due to all the disruption, the upgrading going on. It wasn’t an indication of who they were going to be for the rest of their lives. This book hopefully communicates that.”
As a natural speaker, writing this book offered Berkett a different challenge. “It means so much to me to have written this. Firstly, because it’s wonderful to have the book available as a resource for all those who’ve asked for it, but also because I am not a natural writer. Writing is very different to talking, and the process really tested the way I communicate. It has taken me about five years to write, but I got there in the end…”
Berkett notes that there have been few recent books to support parents through the adolescent development phases. “My book aims to carries on the good work of older titles like Celia Lashlie’s He’ll Be OK and the many books by the much-loved Nigel Latta, also Australian author Steve Biddulph with his books Raising Boys and Stories of Manhood.
“My book is quite science-based, but hopefully in a way that is communicated easy enough for people to consume. It is less of a story book about the things they do, more about the ‘why’ behind the change in behaviour. From the reaction I get from my sessions, I believe it will be highly beneficial to those trying to grapple with behaviour.”
Published by Mary Egan Publishing, What’s Going On In There? is available from 27 November 2025, distributed by BookReps NZ to all local booksellers or direct from Engage Training, https://engagenz.squarespace.com/.
