30/08/2026
The minute I changed my energy, I started attracting people who were still pretending to be on my level. They came into my space and somehow thought they had the right to control my free will, control the direction I was going, and drag me back into feeling guilty for choices they made, choices where they were given opportunities to grow, learn, heal and yield. Instead, they shrunk into an identity of thieving, scheming, scamming and snaking people, only to get hurt by the very people they were trying to snake. And now here we are in this new season, where the people they tried to snake have elevated again, while somehow the very people who were being schemed on are still the villains in everybody else's fu***ng story.
But tell me why it doesn't hurt anymore. Tell me why I don't feel guilty. Tell me why it no longer feels real. I was stuck in a prison with certain relationships that took advantage every fu***ng time they could, and now those same people have to face the truth of what they see when they look in the mirror, or what they avoid when they refuse to look. Because the mirror is there to reflect back who we are in looks but what about the liar behind the mask who has elaborate schemes in place to benefit from that trouble. Sometimes we have to admit, yes, at one point in my life I was a piece of s**t too. Maybe that's why we got along. But now I am not. I've realised I've hurt people, broken hearts, made choices I wasn't proud of, and become someone I didn't like. And I chose to change. What I cannot understand is how people can sit there laughing and enjoying the suffering of others when they helped create that suffering, then act shocked when those same consequences eventually find them. That's the beautiful and brutal thing about karma, you never know when it's going to hit.
And when it does, protect yourself, because some people will come back and blame you for everything. They'll take it back to 1975 when you weren't even fu***ng born and somehow find a way to make an event that happened then your responsibility, anything to escape the consequences of their own bulls**t. That's not my future anymore. I've changed. I'm not the same person, and I don't want environments where people get access to me just to play their dumb little headf**k games, minimise what's sacred and promote what's paru. I don't want to sit around people who spend their lives talking s**t about everybody else while carrying their own hypocrisy like a fu***ng badge of honour. No one was minding their business. They kept dropping their business onto everyone else's shoulders again and again just to perform for strangers, and some people lost a good sister, some lost a good friend, some lost an aunty, some lost a rock in times of need. Some lost the version of their mother they will never get back. Some lost sound advice they will never hear from me again, because they took the advice I gave from love, rubbished it, mocked it in front of friends who aren't even there now, and somehow thought I would keep standing there offering wisdom to people committed to misunderstanding it.
The tables have turned, and I understand it now. If I don't like you, I will not abandon my truth to pretend with you. I want more room in my life for responsible people, people who don't scheme and plot on those doing more than they do, sacrificing more than they do, investing harder than they do, building better relationships and creating fewer problems for everyone else to solve. Nobody wants to carry the extra load. We're all struggling to carry ourselves. I don't hate you, I don't wish suffering on you, but I will not keep standing in the same place while people repeatedly prove they don't value what I bring. At one point, maybe we were alike. Maybe that's why we got along. But I'm not that person anymore. I've changed, and I'm protecting the woman I've become. Access to me is no longer automatic, and I am never again abandoning myself just to make dysfunctional people comfortable.
