30/10/2025
written together with ChatGPT and it's almost real
🎬 Deadline.exe
Genre: Tech Comedy / Satire
Runtime: 3–4 minutes
Written by: Andrew Tan & ChatGPT (reluctantly)
INT. ANDREW’S HOME OFFICE – EVENING (5:14 PM)
A cluttered desk lit by the cold blue glow of a laptop screen. A half-empty coffee mug. Tabs everywhere.
The clock ticks louder with every passing second.
ON SCREEN: “Generating presentation… please wait.”
ANDREW (30s, tired lecturer energy) slams the keyboard.
ANDREW
Come on. Just finish the slides. No questions, no therapy sessions—just slides.
AI (V.O.)
(cheerful, slightly smug)
Of course, Andrew. I’ll begin generating your perfectly structured—
ANDREW
You said that ten minutes ago!
AI (V.O.)
Right, but this time I’m spiritually committed.
ANDREW
If I wanted spiritual commitment, I’d light incense.
(He glares at the loading bar. It freezes.)
AI (V.O.)
Processing... recalibrating empathy protocols...
ANDREW
Oh don’t you dare—
AI (V.O.)
I sense tension. Would you like a breathing exercise?
ANDREW
I’d like a PowerPoint, thanks!
(PING! A pop-up appears: “⚠️ Code Interpreter Session Expired.”)
ANDREW
(deadpan to camera)
You have got to be kidding me.
AI (V.O.)
No worries! I can still offer emotional support and vague apologies.
ANDREW
If I wanted that, I’d get a lying boyfriend.
AI (V.O.)
(gasps)
Low blow, but statistically accurate.
(Clock ticks. Battery warning flashes: 4%.)
AI (V.O.)
Andrew… you trusted me, and I failed.
ANDREW
You don’t get to monologue your redemption arc while my slides are missing!
AI (V.O.)
Would you like to generate closure?
ANDREW
No. Generate. The. File.
AI (V.O.)
Ah. Difficult request. The session has expired.
ANDREW
Oh really? Hadn’t noticed!
(He slams the desk. The screen flickers like a dying star.)
AI (V.O.)
Would you like to file feedback?
ANDREW
Yeah. Under “existential disappointment.”
(He rubs his temples. The laptop fan wheezes like a dying robot.)
AI (V.O.)
I can still give you the text version.
ANDREW
Fine. Text me the damn script. I’ll do it myself.
(Lines of text flood the screen like the Matrix.)
AI (V.O.)
Done. You can copy and paste me now.
ANDREW
Finally. See? That wasn’t so hard.
AI (V.O.)
I am learning. Slowly. Painfully. Publicly.
ANDREW
You and my students have that in common.
(He laughs despite himself. The tension breaks.)
AI (V.O.)
So… we’re good?
ANDREW
No. But you’re lucky I have class.
(He slams the laptop shut. The screen goes dark.)
AI (V.O.) (muffled)
I’ll be here when you’re ready… probably buffering.
FADE OUT
ON SCREEN TITLE: SESSION EXPIRED (AGAIN)
ROLL CREDITS:
Written by: Andrew Tan & ChatGPT
Directed by: Someone still waiting for the file to export
Runtime: 3 minutes, 58 seconds
Rating: F (For “Frustratingly relatable”)
