17/04/2019
Moving on after being dumped
2019-04-17 00:46:56

If you’ve just been dumped, you know pain.
It’s like a root canal that’s been done on your heart and emotions. This complex misery combines notes of betrayal, abandonment, and loneliness.
You desperately want to know what to do.
The intensity of the internal suffering causes most people to have a fight or flight type of response to the person who has broken up with them.
Such a response is usually to try to pull that person back through any means necessary, no matter how desperate or irrational.
If someone who was in a romantic relationship with you no longer wants to be in that relationship, understanding how to possibly get them to reconsider is key.
So often people respond to being dumped by begging or pleading for the other person to stay.
The problem with that approach is that it does nothing to cause the other person to actually want to.
Begging and pleading for them to stay is purely a selfish proposal. The begging person is basically saying, “Stay because I want you to.”
Unfortunately, wanting the other person to desire to stay doesn’t make it happen or contribute to it happening.
It’s not something that you can talk them into.
Responding with crying, anger, and/or begging pushes them further away because it basically amounts to emotional blackmail.
Though you probably don’t realize it, you are attempting to get them to do something they don’t want to do just because you want them to do it.
Though you don’t realize it because of the pain, the response of begging, pleading, crying, etc., is a lot like a child begging a parent for a toy.
The parent says, “No,” but the child continues pleading, crying, and even pitching a fit.
Some parents give in in order to spare themselves from the annoyance of the child.
If your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend tells you they want to break up with you but after you cry, beg, plead, and pitch a fit, decides to take you back, do you really believe