03/19/2026
So, I brought Mum a gift
A mouse
Sleeping, obviously
Permanently!!
Dropped it on the laundry pile in the utility room, soft landing, nice presentation
Mum wanders in later, arms full of bedding, humming like a woman who’s got her life together
Spoiler, she does not!
She chucks everything on the pile, loads the washing machine, detergent, softener,
boom
in goes my little lodger, she shuts the door, and presses start
Off he goes on the ride of his life, The full spa treatment, an hour later, she wrinkles her nose, “There’s a weird smell,” she mutters, and then glares at the litter tray
Yeah, blame the cat, classic move
wash and dry cycle ends, she opens the machine, steam rolling out like it’s a budget horror movie
She starts pulling the laundry out, frowning
“Why does it smell like burnt toast and fabric softener?”
Then she finds it
Tiny, fluffy, unrecognisable
Thinks it’s lint
Picks it up, examines it, realises what it is, she screams, and lobs it across the room like it’s cursed, it bounces off the door and lands next to my paw
Perfect aim well done mother
Ten out of ten form, dinner served
She’s gagging, dry heaving, and now scrubbing the inside of the machine like she’s trying to cleanse her soul, muttering something about “therapy bills”
And me?
I stare at the mouse, give it a little bipity pap, then look at Mum, like a disappointed food critic
“Little overdone, but I appreciate the effort mother”
Hahaha
