MommaSchmitz 2.0

08/12/2021

Feeling like a total queen after my morning with !

I have struggled with congested skin my entire life. Often times it felt difficult to look at my face in the mirror and I was always super self conscious of anyone coming too close or touching my skin because to me it looked and felt like sandpaper.

It's been a mission of mine to work with my body not against it in this battle. I've spent a lot of time correcting my gut and my attitude towards myself.
Jamie has been a huge part of my skin journey over the last year. Between her magic and mine I feel glowing and beautiful in every way!

I remember the first time meeting Jamie and thinking, "she really has her work cut out for her."
She was so kind, "we are going to make your skin look like glass, you'll see"
I felt hopeful yet a little skeptical. I truly believed I could never have soft or smooth skin!

I have replaced coffee with tea, which I know has played a huge role in my cortisol and stress hormones. My body was constantly in testosterone overdrive because I was giving it hell first thing every morning, contributing to my bumpy skin.

I really cannot thank for a beautiful + connected experience, and the power of confidence she allowed me to take back to with my skin!

08/02/2021

Hi guys!

I really enjoy my life a lot more when I am away from social media. I feel present and happy with my day to day experiences when I am not under the spell of the scroll.
That being said, I had to take a moment to say "Mama, you are a fu***ng badass."
This past weekend, I braved a solo trip to for Zoey's 8th birthday. We took one of her dearest friends and had so much fun.

Sometimes I reflect on my past life of snorting pills for breakfast or trying to hustle some stolen groceries for my morning fix, and then I come back to the present. This gift of a life I was given a second time over.
This is me, 6 months pregnant. Badass mama taking 3 kids for 3 days to a theme park. ON MY OWN!

This is a tale to say that you can do anything you set your mind to. While this may not seem like an accomplishment to many, for me... I am so proud of myself for keeping everyone safe, keep a cool head, and living it up at Legoland in 96 degree heat in July!

It couldn't have gone better.
I'll be giving myself a big cheers in October for this one!

07/22/2021

This isn't my typical post but certainly something I've been up to!

It's been like soooo hot in Sarasota I've really been brainstorming and searching for ideas of things to do INSIDE.

My toddler is busy and is making a small(ish) mess really that big of a deal?

I am falling into this role of mother/entertainer and honestly loving most every minute of it.

Today's feature was a Paint the Car Car Wash!
This legit was like an hour of fun and easy peasy set up/clean up!

My 7 year old wanted in and we even did a round two!

🎨 Muffin tins are da bomb for mess free and easy clean up painting.
🎨 Water can't hurt the tile but I also placed a towel underneath which made for a quick wipe up when we were finished.

06/11/2021

I haven't posted as much about my story this past week. I feel like I put a lot out there and I just need a little time for it to settle. It's not easy sharing such personal truth, although I am feeling lighter each day.

This has been a sloth week for us in the Schmitz house.
Between the dark moon period, solar eclipse, and new moon I have really focused a lot on shadow work.

The time before the new moon is called the dark moon period. This is a great time for us to look at ourselves and see where we are holding ourselves back. Where can we surrender just a little more? What part of ourselves needs to feel discomfort in order to change, grow, and feel more connected?

I am working hard on forgiveness. It has come to my attention that I am holding a lot of s**t around forgiveness. Even while I have forgiven myself for my past choices, I haven't forgiven myself for more recent ones.
I also am hold negative space for a few loved ones around forgiveness, and I really want to hold love and light for them instead.

Feelings do not define myself or my relationships but they allow for a deeper connection to self.
Keep healing your inner child. He/she needs you and everything is working in your favor. 💙💙💙

06/06/2021

I think it's safe to say that we have all been hurt in our past. Someone, somewhere caused us to feel badly treated.
I recently shared about my experience with the passing of my friend and my parents reaction afterward. While I don't blame them, parenting is fu***ng hard, I do still feel some kind of way about the situation and in this respect, I think it actually holds me back. This place inside of me is blocked with more or less negative emotions.
I want to change the course of old grudges + patterns and release them. Be free to allow gratitude to flow within me.
Sometimes there can be immediate changes. Sometimes the process can take a while. Be patient with yourself and show kindness for taking the first step.
Here's a little something I have been practicing...
Begin by making a list of all the people, conditions, or situations that you might hold a grudge against. Anything that has made you feel like a victim in any way. Keep going, you can probably come up with a few more.

When you feel complete, take a deep breath. Relax into your body and start going through the list. Each time, close your eyes and bring it into your mind. Once you have the image, situation, feeling in front of you, tell the person or situation that you're willing to forgive, because you are ready to reclaim you've given over them.
If it's hard to be willing, this is a great place to be. You are here with intentions of growth.
The more of your power that is tied up in the issue, the harder it might be. Just by being willing to forgive, you might find the negative tension around the issue softens.

I also made a point to mentally send as much love and compassion to anyone person or situation that I am having an issue with.
Be patient and kind with yourself. Healing is a process and time is an illusion. There is no rush.



If you want to read the whole bit, you can click the link in bio to find my blog. 💙💙💙

06/04/2021

From the age of 17 to 26, when I got pregnant with my daughter, I was heavily medicated. Later, it became the street drugs, but at first it was antidepressants, bipolar meds, sleeping meds.
I was hospitalized for the first time at 17. Su***de attempt. It wasn't though. I just felt something when I cut myself, I never really intended to take my own life.
This same year I tore my ACL and my best friend passed away. So I was not in a good place.
I was 17, the pressures of teenagehood, I had just lost what felt like my life and then someone dear to me. Of course I was fu***ng depressed. I'm sure Effexor XR and Depakote were not the answer.
I did see a therapist a couple of times. It never worked out.
The first time my parents took me to one the guy promised not to share anything that I shared with him with anyone and he told my parents everything. I was devastated. I felt betrayed. I never trusted a soul in this position ever again. And in rehab, you gotta do a lot of therapy.
I think it was after my second hospitalization that I went to an inpatient rehab the first time. I just didn't quite fit in. I did what they said and I played by the rules but I always felt like someone was constantly telling me there is something wrong with me when I didn't really see it that way.
At this point, I really wasn't using drugs addictively. My friends and I would have a few beers on the weekend and maybe do a little co***ne and ecstasy but we were just young, I didn't see it being a lifelong thing.
After my friend died, the guilt and the loss became too overwhelming. It wasn't long before I was taking Xanax regularly and binge drinking. I lost nearly all of my friends. Our group was mourning the loss of our friend and not spending as much time together and I really wasn't that much fun to be around.
I flipped my truck on an Orlando toll road and it was crushed to oblivion. It is truly amazing the amount of s**t I have survived. How could I not share my crazy fu***ng story..?
If you'd like to read the rest, click the link in my profile to find my blog.

05/28/2021

I remember being a kid and feeling so angry. I can even say what came over me at any point I just remember saying this A LOT.

It should be noted that I gave zero memories from 0-7 (something I obviously need to address, I'm just not there yet). 0-7 is blank. It's like I didn't exist. And maybe in a sense of the word, I didn't. I can't even remember being in the gym until around then.

My anger improved mildly from 7-14, or at least maybe I wasn't as outward about it. I had learned to turn it inward. Stopped sharing my feelings, they didn't matter anyway. So much anger. Anger towards myself for feeling this way, being angry I couldn't and didn't know how to change it. I was consumed.
I was angry that my outlet for my feelings was more or less unavailable due to my elbow injury. Maybe I just felt like I would never be good enough (a very common theme in my life.)

How can a child who is supposed to be filled with love + light + spirit be the one to break themselves? We must unschool this terrible pattern of behavior in ourselves and in our own children.
I was always good at self sabotaging.

At 13, I got my period. I was immediately placed on birth control. I'm fairly convinced that the next 7 years of depression, anxiety, su***de attempts, and the like were due to the simple fact that I flooded my body with hormones and never learned to self-regulate them after puberty. Sure there were other factors, but hormones and chemicals play such a huge role at this developmental age.

By 14, I was cutting myself daily. I would take broken glass and slide it across my forearms and in other places where my clothes covered the wounds. The pain, the blood, the self infliction. Afterall, it was only my burden to bare. This feeling inside of me was mine and mine alone and I had no control or tools to try to understand it.

05/26/2021

Clear Quartz Crystal is a fairly common crystal. Did you know it is composed of only silicon and carbon? Two basic ingredients make one of the universal healing crystal. It is good for manifesting realities, setting intentions, and amplifying energies. As a Libra, the mantra I most resonate with is balance. Clear Quartz provides balance + harmony that can be linked to all 7 of our Chakras. It it know particularly well to stimulate the Crown Chakra.

The Crown Chakra is located at the top of your head (and get this) it is the place where the universe continues beyond our physical bodies. It controls how we think (naturally due to its location) and how we respond to the world around us. It connects us to universal truth. When our Crown's are in balance, we can see and understand our place in the universe. I know more than most that setbacks are an essential part of life, and will continue on. Clear Quartz can help you see this about yourself too!

Possibly my favorite thing about Clear Quartz is it has the ability to meet a person where they are at. It vibrates at the frequency necessary for the individual. This makes it great for beginners and for those who have used crystal healing for years.

Fun bonus... Our go-to beach, Siesta Key, is made up of 99% ground Clear Quartz!

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05/25/2021

Before the drugs, I was an athlete. One might use the word jock. I was a gymnast for 13 years. After that I spent a little time trying to find "my sport." Gymnastics was my sport. All I knew since the age of 2. I had an injury that required me to take 3 months of intense rest and going back just wasn't the same. I spent time after that rediscovering my love for other outdoor sports. I swam competitively all through high school and I was damn good at it. I picked up soccer at age 16, unheard of, really. Most of the girls had been playing soccer their entire lives. I ended up being a badass midfield. My skills were weaker than some but I was super fast, so it didn't matter. When I wasn't on the field or in the pool, I was training for triathlons.

After high school, I became and EMT and then decided to become a firefighter. There were mostly boys in my class and I am 100% certain that I kept up with them.

A year into paramedic school, I dropped out. I think I honestly just said f**k it and quit going. It wasn't that it was too hard. I was always up for a challenge. I was working nights in the ER in a small Orlando hospital. I remember having sleep troubles my whole life and it was around this time I was taking them and staying awake because it was kind of fun. I would work all night and then come home at 7am, pop a sleeping pill and stay up as long as I could. I wasn't doing this all the time. I had to work also and I really, truly loved my job.. I just did it for fun. And I guess because I was super alone.

I'm not sure this is exactly where things started to go all wrong, maybe this was a tipping point. Maybe it all happened much sooner...

05/24/2021

Eclipse Season is upon us...

The Lunar Eclipse is this coming week. Eclipse season is said to collapse timelines. The past, present, and future can all blur into one another. Eclipses can be an opportunity to work and heal emotional patterns and touch base with your subconscious. The Eclipse itself can remind us that not everything is what it seems. Pay attention to what comes up for you over the next several days. Pay attention with mindfulness and patience. Respond, instead of react.
The full moon Lunar Eclipse might make you feel more connected with universal consciousness and it also might make you feel more on edge, wired, or anxious. I know for me, I have had some irritability and anxiousness coming up in the last few days.

The time has come to let go of our past stories. To move forward, honor the past, and make new ones.

A few questions to ask yourself during this season:

Where am I deciding to refrain from self-sabotage?
What part of me is neglected and needs more care?
What patterns are serving me right now and which ones are not? Can I let go of those that are not?
What is one thing I can do for my inner child?

05/23/2021

My first Clean Beauty video!

I don't wear a lot of makeup most days just a little mascara but when I am going out or feel like I need a spruce up, I use these 4 products!

Kosas Tinted Oil Moisturizer
Ilia True Skin Serum Concealer + Ilia Limitless Lash Mascara
Westman Atelier Baby Cheeks Blush Stick

05/23/2021

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